The Hero or the Villian
by LeytonLoVe123
Summary: sequel to The Lion and the Lamb. Haley and Nathan are getting married. Will the wedding and pre-wedding activities bring Lucas and Peyton, the best man and maid of honor, back together considering Lucas has a secret? LP NH and canon Twilight pairings
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, here I am with the first chapter of the sequel for _The Lion and the Lamb_. I got a good amount of people wanting to read it, and, honestly, I want to write it. In case you don't remember, when we last left my little world where One Tree Hill and Twilight collide, it was graduation in Tree Hill. Haley and Nathan were together and headed for Duke. Brooke had dated both brothers, and she had been friends with Lucas after their break-up-which didn't actually happen in the last fic-while hating Haley for 'taking Nathan away from her'. Rachel had a vendetta against Peyton, because, in her eyes, Peyton had taken Lucas from her, even though she had never dated Lucas. Lucas was headed for UNC, and Peyton took off after graduation, because she loved Lucas, but she thought herself a monster, and she didn't want to have to one day turn him into a vampire like she was and she thought it would be easier to let him move on with his life. Oh, and Haley and Peyton were good friends before Peyton left Tree Hill without a word.

So, I hope you're up to date, now, on what we last saw. If you have any questions let me know in a review. When this fic picks up, we find our favorite characters after more than two years has passed. Most questions should be answered with time, but if you want a flashback to explain something, or if I leave something unclear without meaning too, just ask, and I'll try to give you an answer. Anyway, I think this A/N is long enough. Here's the chapter:

(Peyton's POV)

As I got out of my Comet, in the parking lot of yet another high school, I felt a strange sense of deja vu. It's been more than two years since I first stepped onto the campus of Tree Hill High School, and my life's changed so much since then. I can't believe it's been almost two years since graduation; it seems like so much time has passed, yet, at the same time, it feels like Lucas was holding me in his arms yesterday.

No, I mustn't think of him. It only leads to depression, and that really wouldn't be good for my first day back at high school. Instead of allowing my thoughts to linger on the blond, I force myself to recall the reason I had decided to register at a high school. I signed up as a junior, to hopefully give myself a longer time here. I was at Fork's high school, because I had never really returned to New York to be with my family. Instead I had decided to find a place in Forks-the place where Bella and Edward had found each other-and hope to get some good karma points by staying there.

Honestly, I didn't believe in karma, but back then I couldn't stand being around people, because everything reminded me of what I couldn't have, and I wanted to go to a place that held some familiarity, even if it was only familiar from the memories and thoughts I had seen in everyone else's mind about it. Initially, they had come to visit me a lot, but eventually, when I would rarely respond to them, they had stopped. I guessed they had given up on me, because, as of two months ago, no one had come in many months. Then Sebastian had shown up one day, to 'convince me to live again.' Those were his words. I slowly let the memory wash over me.

FLASHBACK

I was lying on the floor, as I often did during the day, because I usually only left at night and then it was mostly to hunt. The door opened suddently and I knew who it was by his thoughts, so I didn't bother looking up. "It's not going to work," I said, knowing from his thoughts what he was going to try to do, and trying to ward him off. I didn't feel up to it today. I didn't feel up to it any day, really. I saw no point in getting up without Lucas to get up for.

Instead of heeding my warning, Sebastian walked further into the room and plopped down onto the floor, using the wall to lean against. Unlike my room in the last house I'd lived in, there were no records on the walls. There were no drawings or sketches, or any sort of art work either. I simply hadn't found the desire to listen to music, or draw since that fateful day. I knew the future was nothing but bleak for me, so what was the point of drawing it and having it cemented. As for listening to music, I used to do that to feel some sort of hope. There was no longer any hope to feel.

Even though Sebastian didn't say a word for a while, I kept my gaze on the ceiling. He was trying to reach me through his thoughts, and I was steadily ignoring them. I simply didn't care. Nothing he could say would really get my attention, so there was no point in listening. "Stop being so morbid. I can smell your complete apathy from a mile away," he scolded. Sebastian could also sense people's emotions. Unlike Jasper, he could not manipulate them. He could sense them more specifically, though. "I want to feel some interest from you, in anything," he added.

Sighing, I raised my hand and flipped him off calously. "Is that enough emotion?" I asked, then flipped on my side, so my back was facing him, and stared at the wall instead of the ceiling. There wasn't much difference, but there was just enough for me to occupy myself by pointing them out. Not that I hadn't done this before, but I didn't much care if I had.

He heaved a sigh as well, but not for the same reasons I had. He was exasperated, while I had been pretending to show emotion. "Peyton, seriously, you've been lying in bed over a year. You need to get over this and live again, which is what I'm here to convince you to do. It's not like Luca-" he cut himself off as I sat up abrubtly and turned to face him with a glare so fierce, I've been told it would kill people, if looks really could kill. "You didn't give him up so you could have no life. You gave him up so he could. Which, by the way, I still think is a damned stupid decision," he started again before Icould interrupt.

Now I did have an emotion for him to sense. I was pissed at the nonchalant way he brought up Lucas. No one did that around me, obviously fearing-with good reason-that I would tear their heads off if they did. I'm not entirely sure I mean that figuratively either. Whenever I think of him, besides the feeling of loss I get, I feel extremely angry. Not at him, of course, because he did nothing wrong, but at myself. I often think of what would have happened between us had I not up and disappeared. Would we still be together? Would I have changed him?

I have to stop my thoughts there, because I really can't picture him with bloodred eyes instead of clear blue. That image in my mind makes me want to tear out my unbeating heart, for all the pain it brings me. "Don't you dare speak his name. I don't want to hear about what you think he would want. You don't know him, or anything about him, so stay out of it," I pointed at him, knowing he was smirking at the fire he saw in my green eyes. "Damnit, don't go getting a big head, thinking you caused me to feel something. This is the life I chose, and I'm damn happy with it, so butt your arse out!" I jumped to my feet and fled the room.

Instead of stopping when I got outside, I kept on going, running quickly through the woods. I didn't stop until I reached the meadow. I knew what it had meant to Bella and Edward, and it made me remember the clearing underneath the bridge in Tree Hill, where I had spent many hours with Lucas. It was here and only here that I could remember Lucas fondly. I slowly flipped through the memories in my mind, actually allowing them to bring a smile to my face. In that moment, I could almost feel Lucas's head resting on my stomach, could almost feel my fingers feathering through his hair.

Looking down at my hands, I was forced to rememer that he wasn't here. I would never get to run my fingers through his hair again. Never get to hear his heartbeat, or look into his clear blue eyes. I bent my knees and rested my face in them, and I was sure tears would be spilling down my cheeks if they could. It was times like these I hated being a vampire. I desperately needed a good cry, and I would never feel the release of tears running down my cheeks. I knew what Sebastian had been about to say in my room. 'It's not like Lucas hasn't gotten over it,' I could hear his voice saying the words, even though he hadn't finished his sentence.

As I thought about it, I realized he was right. Slowly, the urge to cry began to fade, as I contemplated that. Lucas probably had moved on, and I should too, right? I mean, it wasn't like Lucas was going to put his life on hold, and I had to spend much longer without a companion if I couldn't find one. I needed to get out of my small world and interact with people again. That didn't mean I was ready to move back in with my family, but maybe I could start attending a school again. It would probably be more efficient to start as a junior; that would allow me to spend more time here.

My thoughts continued like this, and by the time Sebastian showed up, I was waiting for him. "Alright, you can go report to the others that you succeeded. I'll go back to school. Just tell them that I'm not ready to do much more than that," I told him, sending him a look to let him know exactly what I meant. I didn't want anyone coming here and fawning over me just because I went to school. I needed to do things at my own pace.

Surprising me, he seemed completely innocent in thoughts told me he hadn't been keeping in touch with the Cullens. "I've been living with a mate," he said, and I knew he would be blushing-if he could-by his tone. A quick look into his thoughts told me it was Tanya, and I was pleasantly surprised by this. I was genuinely happy that Sebastian had found someone to be happy with. Happy enough that I gave him a hug, much to his surprise. When I pulled away, I demanded details, and he was not hesitant to give them.

END FLASHBACK

That had been long ago, and school had already started by that time. So I was late in starting, but I had managed to come up with the proper documents that would prove I had been enrolled in some school in another country. Today was my first day on campus, but I talked to the secetary yesterday, over the phone. It wouldn't take too long to get my schedule figured out. I headed in the direction of the main office and tried to ignore the stares of all the teenagers.

None of the students held any interest for me. I wasn't here for that, not really. I was just here to prove to myself that I could go to school. I had spent the past couple nights reperfecting my french accent, and had the clothing style to match, thanks to the time I spent in France, years ago. I wanted something different, and to be someone different, hence the changes.

My first test of the day came before I reached the office. A girl who had a bright smile, and brown hair approached. "Hey, you must be new here. My name's Michelle Newton," she said, looking at me expectantly. The cheeriness threw me offguard briefly, and I wondered how she could be so happy in the morning, before I snapped out of my shock and answered in my perfect french accent. She showed me to the office and fortunately, or unfortunately due to the fact that her joy could get rather trying, I had at least four classes with the girl, including my first one, which she showed me to.

The rest of the day passed quickly after that and I was glad to catch the sight of my house as I turned on the road that led to it. A few more yards later, and I was parking the car, getting out. I checked my mailbox, strictly out of curiousity, because the grass around it seem disturbed in a way that it hadn't been earlier, and I smelled a scent I hadn't smelled on it yet and sure enough, there was something inside. I saw a name I recognized, and felt a caution sweep over me. I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I slit open the envelope anyway, and yes, I was right. It was a wedding invitation, to Haley and Nathan's wedding. In two weeks.

(Lucas's POV)

The sound of my roommate's alarm clock informed me that it was time to get up. With a sigh, I stood and decided to get ready for my first class of the day. I was technically still in my freshman year, because I had flunked out last year as soon as it's possible to flunk out of all your college classes. After that I stayed in the apartment I was renting for a while, before something happened that made me get up one day, and start getting ready to live again. Well, I guess it was more of a someone, but, nevertheless, I prefer not to think about it unless absolutely necessary.

That wasn't exactly my shining moment, and I have a whole year of them. I hate that I was so weak, but for a while there, I just didn't care. I hate her for that, but, at the same time, I still can't stop loving her. Some days I just wish I could see her again, now, and show her what she's missing, but then I'd have to see what I'm missing, and I don't know if I can handle that, despite the fact that I'm trying to move on. It still hurts to think of her, and I prefer to let the past stay there. For some reason, though, I let the past wash over me for a moment.

FLASHBACK

My eyes closed, I lay in my bed, as I had taken to long ago. There was really no reason for me to get out of bed. My mom had stopped coming by a long time ago. I guess she hated seeing her son lose the will to live before her very eyes. Even the phone calls from Haley and Nathan had stopped, and they had been coming every day at one point. I didn't much care, though, because I had long ago stopped caring. I guess I stopped caring the day she disappeared. I felt the pain clutch at me as it did every time my thoughts even drifted in the direction of the sarcastic blonde, which hadn't been happening as much lately because I've been training myself not to think of her.

Still, every once in a while, she would drift into my thoughts, and while it would cause me to smile for a moment, it never lasted long, and soon enough I would be painfully remembering the day she disappeared from my life. It was that day that I had begun my downward spiral which had eventually led to the rock bottom I was at today. I had had hope in the beginning. Hope that I could find her. Hope that she would come back to me. As time passed, I lost all hope, and all will to leave the house. I only left my bed anymore to go to the bathroom, or the kitchen, and I hadn't actually left the house since I had stopped going to my classes.

What I long for most are the days when I'll be able to remember her and not feel the gaping hole she left in my life, in me. Maybe one day I'll be able to think of her name with fondness, and remember the time she allowed me to be a part of her life. I will be thankful for the time I took up in her extraordinary life and I won't mind that she got bored of me and left. Maybe in the way distant future, I'll even be able to drove past her old house in Tree Hill, or our spot underneath the bridge and not feel the emptyness she left behind.

Of course, right now that's all wishful thinking, and I have no use of it. Right now I feel cold and soulless, like she often claimed she was, everytime I think of her. She probably doesn't even think of me anymore. Why should she? She left me without a trace, as if I was yesterday's news, and to her I probably was. I was a mere human. She'll meet thousands in her lifetime, probably millions, and I was just one. One person, who she allowed to occupy her life for a time. She probably won't remember me any more than she would remember anyone else.

Except she had claimed that she had loved me. She had claimed that she would love me for as long as she lived, and she had promised to stay with me for as long as I lived. No, I recalled, she had promised to stay with me as long as I needed her. Well, that was a lie. Couldn't she tell that I needed her? That I still need her. I know that she said she couldn't read my thoughts, but how could she not know how much I still need her. Maybe she just didn't care. Maybe she had never loved me and had just been using me as a plaything while she had been forced to stay in Tree Hill.

That thought made the pain I was feeling throb and fester, spreading it even more. I quickly pushed her out of my thoughts and tried to focus on something else. Just for something to do, I got out of bed and pulled on some jeans over my boxers. I didn't bother with a shirt as I headed into the kitchen of the small studio I was still living in. Soon enough, I would run out of my life savings and have to figure out something else, but I think I still have enough for at least six months, if not more. I guess I'll figure out when I get to that bridge.

Just as I finished throwing a sandwich together because it was the only thing I could see to make out of the meager amount of food I had, there was a knock on the door. I was sure it was my mom, so I decided to answer it. She was the only one that visited me in my home anymore, and, as I pointed out earlier, she didn't come around much anymore. I took my time getting to the door, taking a bite of my sandwich and setting it on the counter before heading out of the kitchen. I opened the front door, only to find myself staring at a woman who was not my mother.

From my memory, it was one of Peyton's family members. Bella, if I could remember correctly. I felt the pain flare up angrily at the thought of her name. I had been careless in my thoughts as I hadn't been in a long time, and felt myself nearly doubling over, crossing my arms across my chest to try to ease it. Bella still hadn't said anything, so I looked up at her, quite curious as to why she was here. My shoulders were still hunched over as I tried to hold the pain away. I didn't say anything, just waited for Bella to speak up as I kept waiting for the extra pain from thinking her name to go away.

She eyed me sympathetically. "This is worse than I thought," I thought I heard her mutter, but I couldn't be sure. "Hey, Lucas, how are you doing?" she asked, pushing her way into the house. She cringed at the sight of the mess before she turned back to me. "I guess that's my answer," she said, her expression raking me over once more. I could sense that she was pitying me, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "I told her this would happen, but would she listen, no? Still, as bad as she is, I think he might even be worse," I heard a faint mutter again, but, again, I could have just been hearing things.

With a shake of her head, she began picking things up. "Listen to me, Lucas," she said as she cleaned my place up. "You can't live like this. You've got to learn how to live again, or at least fake it, and I'm here to help with that, because I've been here, and it's not a fun place to be," she straightened and looked at me, and this time I realized it wasn't pity. It was understanding. "Besides, I'm the only one who can help you, and I won't have my head bitten off, because I can keep my thoughts to myself," she said, sending me a smile before she went back to cleaning.

END FLASHBACK

That had been the start of a good friendship. Bella had helped me out of the darkness, and she had helped the hole in my chest heal, so the edges weren't as jagged. It still hurt, especially when I thought of her, but I have hope now that I can get better, and now I can interact with people. I also made a really good friend out of it. I didn't get to see Bella all the time, but she came about once a week or so. The best part about it was the fact that no one knew we were hanging out, which meant it wasn't getting back to her. I'm not sure I could handle it if she knew how bad I had taken her disappearance.

Shaking myself out of the past and focusing on the present, I got dressed, finishing as I heard my roommate get out of the shower. I grunted a response to his greeting, and then headed out of the building to go to class. I went through the motions all day, and was glad to get home after my last class. There was mail laying on the kitchen table, and I was surprised that one envelope had my name on it. I cautiously opened it, wondering who it could possibly be from. As soon as I pulled the parchment out of the envelope I knew. It had been a long time coming, so I wasn't surprised in the least to receive an invitation to Haley and Nathan's wedding.

A/N2: okay, so, what did you think of the first chapter? I know it was kind of short, at least, shorter than I've grown accustomed to writing lately, but I thought this was a good place to start. What do you think? Let me know, and I think I'll update this fic every Monday. So, you'll find out what happens next in one week. I tell you, the next chapter could be a shocker, or maybe not. We'll have to see. Please review, and let me know if you want to see something happen. I appreciate all ideas and comments, good or bad.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in relation to One Tree Hill or Twilight.


	2. Chapter 2

(Peyton's POV)

As soon as I got the invitation, I called the last number I had for Haley. Luckily, her cell phone number hadn't changed, and she answered after only a couple of rings. "Hello," she answered cautiously, as if she didn't know who was calling, which, why would she? I mean, I was calling from a pay phone in Forks, Washington of all places. I didn't have my cell phone anymore, and it's not like she knows the area code for Washington. I'd answer cautiously if I didn't know who was calling me. Maybe.

I blew out a sigh as I tried to figure out what to say first. "Hey, it's me, Peyton. Congratulations on the wedding," I said, forcing cheeriness into my voice which, of course, sounded completely normal. I couldn't believe she had invited me to her wedding. I could tell she was surprised by my call, but she quickly started gushing about the wedding and how happy she was to hear from me. I just let her go on, deciding to let her get it all out before I made my excuses about why I couldn't go back to Tree Hill right now.

At least, that was what I planned, until I heard her say something that made my jaw drop, which, considering I can hear people's thoughts, doesn't happen often. "Wait, what did you just say?" I asked, even though the words were still resounding clearly in my head. 'I'm so glad you called because I want you to be my maid of honor.' Maid of honor?! I haven't talked to her in almost two years and she's asking me to be her maid of honor? More importantly, how can I say no to that?

For a second she faltered, but then she continued on with all the cheeriness she had had before. "I was kind of wondering if you'd be my maid of honor. I mean, you were the best friend I had in high school, and I'm not really that close to any of my sisters. Plus, I would love the chance to hang out with you again. I miss you, Peyt," she admitted. I didn't know what to say, but she continued anyway. "The only thing is, you would kind of have to get here, like, tomorrow, so we could get you fitted for your dress, and all the pre-wedding stuff," she said quietly.

I was silent for a long time. I didn't know what to do, or say. This had caught me completely off-guard. I guess she took my silence as a no, because she started speaking again. "It's okay if you don't want to. I am kind of springing this on you out of nowhere. You know what, don't worry about it. I can get someone else to be my maid of honor. It's no big deal. Just, please, I'd love to see you if you could make it to the wedding," she rambled on, as she had always been apt to do.

Something in me forced an answer out of my mouth before I could even really consider what I was getting myself into. "Hales, I would love to be your maid of honor. I'll get the first flight out to Tree Hill, and I'll call you as soon as I land," I said, only thinking after the fact about what I had done. I had just agreed to go back to Tree Hill, the place I had vowed to never visit again, and here I was, promising to be on the next flight out there. How masochistic am I? The answer: very.

She was extrememly pleased, I could hear it in her voice, and she rambled on about what I needed to do, or didn't need to do, and how thankful she was, and a whole bunch of things before I reminded her that I needed to book a flight, and I would talk to her just as soon as I got to Tree Hill. She once again thanked me before hanging up. I sighed and called the airport first, booking my flight which, apparantly, would leave in two hours. That meant I had one hour to berate myself for this before packing and heading for the airport.

At this point I wasn't even thinking about the reason I didn't want to go back to Tree Hill. I was more focused on other things to even think about the pain this was going to inflict on my non-beating heart. I wanted to bang my head on the wall for even considering what I was about to do, but I couldn't refuse Haley, not after all she had done for me. She had become my first human friend. The first one to see me as a human, and not a vampire, and I would always owe her for that.

So, I really had no choice, and as much as I hated that, I knew it was true. I had to pack up my bag and go back to the one place that would hurt me the most. I had to pray that I would have little contact with him, and, most of all, I had to pray that going back wouldn't weaken all the resolve I had formed in the past two years. To be honest, my resolve was weakened a little more each day, but I kept telling myself I needed to keep my promise to him, and I planned on doing that.

(Lucas's POV)

As soon as I got in the door, I dialed Nathan's cell phone number. "Hey, man, what's up. I'm surprised to be hearing from you. Usually I have to call you to hear anything from you," he said, using a joking tone, but completely serious at the same time. Then he seemed to realize what had happened, and he continued before I could say anything. "You got the wedding invitation," he said, and it wasn't a question, but a statement of fact.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see it, and I had to roll my eyes. "Yes, I did. Congratulations, by the way. Were you planning on telling me that you planned on proposing, because unless I've been having blackouts I don't know about, you haven't said a word about this to me," I said, wondering why he didn't mention this to me. I only hoped that he really hadn't mentioned it, that he hadn't said something to me when I was wallowing too deep in my own pain to notice.

He stayed silent for a moment before answering, and I was just about to apologise for my tone when he continued speaking. "Listen, man, I'm sorry I didn't tell give you the heads up before I sent the invitation. You've just been so distant lately, I wasn't exactly sure how you were going to react," he admitted, and I swallowed my annoyance as I realized he was right. "There's something else, though. I was kind of wondering if you'd be my best man," he asked.

To be honest, I was taken a bit by surprise, then I felt an emotion I hadn't felt in a while. Happiness. I was truly pleased that Nathan had asked me, and I had to take a few minutes to examine this unusual feeling. I guess I took too long, because Nathan took my silence as a no. "I mean, I know it's a lot to ask. You'd have to get here like tomorrow, for all the pre-wedding arrangements, but I really wouldn't want anyone else at my side while I got married," he said hesitantly.

Smiling, another thing that I wasn't used to, but I still found myself doing it now. "Nate, man, I'd be honored to be your best man, and lucky for you, I took my last final today. The semester's over, and I can get on the first plane back to Tree Hill," I told him, sensing his relief over the phone, and that, more than anything, was a wake-up call for me. If he really thought me capable of turning down his offer, that said a lot about my character, and made me hate what I had become because of her.

After chatting with Nathan a little while longer, avoiding the topic of Peyton, of course, I told him I'd call him back as soon as I knew when I was arriving in Tree Hill, and hung up the phone. I called the airport and bought a ticket over the phone, knowing I would have to be there soon to make my flight, and tried to ignore the fact that I was returning to Tree Hill. It would probably be hard, and I knew that, but I couldn't not go. I only had to hope that Peyton wouldn't be there, and try to get by if she was.

I gathered my things after calling Nathan to tell him what time to be at the airport. I told him five, but my plane would be landing at four. I didn't want him to pick me up. I wanted to be able to go through Tree Hill on my own. I wanted to see if I could handle it, and I didn't want him to see my emotions, even though I was pretty good at hiding them now.

So I got on the plane, trying to brace myself for being in Tree Hill again. The plane landed far too soon in my opinion, and I wished that I had more time, but I was out of time to prepare myself. So I heaved a deep sigh and followed the crowd off the plane. I headed over to get my luggage, noticing people from another plane, all going on with their lives as if being in Tree Hill was completely normal. For them, it was. For me, I had to get used to it again.

It was then, as I was getting my bag from the luggage rack, that I felt her presence. I wasn't completely sure, but I had always been good at sensing her. I didn't want to believe it, but I slowly turned around, sure that I was mistaken. It couldn't be her, not here, not now. Sure enough, when I turned, my eyes met a pair of green eyes in the midst of the crowd. I was looking into the very shocked gaze of Peyton Sawyer.

(Haley's POV)

As soon as Nathan got off the phone a second time, I asked him what time Lucas's plane would be getting in. He told me that he was going to pick Lucas up at 5. "Good, because Peyton's plane gets in at three, and I think I'll have time to get her out of the airport before there's a chance of her running into Lucas. I have yet to tell her that he's going to be here, and I would hate for her to see him before I get to break the news to her," I said, distracted by Nathan taking off his shirt. "You're lucky that I have to go, or neither of us would be getting to the airport today," I said playfully, stepping closer and pulling him into a kiss.

His hands were instantly at my waist as I tangled mine in his hair. I was so happy to be getting married to him. I had been worried that he would never ask me, but he had, this summer, and after months of planning, we were finally approaching the date. After continuing to make-out with him for a while, I forced myself to pull away. "Well, I have a maid of honor to pick up, and you have to shower before you go pick up your brother, so I'll just see you later, okay, and maybe we'll get to finish what I started," I said giving him one last kiss. "I love you," I said as I headed for the door.

He said the words back and I wiggled my fingers at him before leaving our apartment. I was truly excited at the prospect of seeing Peyton again, and I couldn't wait to catch up. I only hoped that she wasn't as bad off as Lucas had been. I knew he had been pretty depressed for a while there, but it had been a long time, and I hoped they would be able to see each other now without too much drama.

Although, I knew I would have to warn Peyton about Lucas's arrival before they saw each other, or she would be mad at me for keeping it from her. The only reason I hadn't mentioned it on the phone was because I wanted her to get here before I told her. I wanted to talk to her about it in person, and I knew that if I could get her here first, she wouldn't be able to just leave. At least, I was hoping that.

I figured that with the two hour difference between the arrival of Peyton and Lucas, there wouldn't be too much trouble keeping them from seeing each other before I could tell Peyton. That hope was dashed as Peyton's plane was delayed an hour. The only hope I had now was that the two would be on different airlines, on different sides of the airport. Hopefully I could still get Peyton out before she could see Lucas.

As soon as her plane landed, I found her in the crowd getting off, and I hugged her immediately upon reaching her. She hugged back for a moment, before lightly pushing me away. She looked almost exactly the same as last time I had seen her, except, I noticed as I carefully examined her, there was a hollowness in her eyes, which she tried to mask, and the deep circles that had always been under her eyes were slightly darker, and her skin was slightly paler. It was easy to tell she had taken her leaving about as well as Lucas, but she was better at hiding it.

She forced a smile almost as if shd could hear my thoughts, but it didn't hide the hollowness in her eyes. I allowed her to lead us over to the luggage claim and I noticed she didn't have much to say about her life. She answered any question I had for her with a question about me instead. I spotted him first, as we were nearing luggage claim, and I tried to hurry her in another direction, but she looked up, as if knowing instinctively what I had seen, and then it was too late. He turned and their eyes met across the crowd.

(Peyton's POV)

I heard his name in Haley's thoughts as we neared the baggage claim, but I couldn't believe it. Surely, I would have heard the beating of his heart, or smelled his scent if we were that close. It had been a while, but I could still hear the sound of his heartbeat in my head as if it was yesterday. I quickly scanned the crowd, sniffing him out. I smelt a scent that may have been close to what he used to smell like, but that was mixed with another familiar scent, and my eyes sought out the guy who gave off that scent.

The blond slowly turned, with a graceful agility that I knew belonged to only one species. I couldn't believe it. I had left so exactly this wouldn't happen. I could only hope that I was wrong, that I just couldn't pick out his scent in the crowd. That I just couldn't hear his heartbeat because there were too many, and he was too far away, but I knew all of this to be untrue, my senses had never failed me so fully as that. I knew the undeniable truth as soon as he turned, and my eyes met the nearly violet color of red eyes beneath a blue contact. Lucas Scott had been turned into a vampire.

A/N: Who knew that was coming? I tried not to make it too obvious, while also trying to leave subtle hints. Well, now we know what it is, but we don't know how he got this way. Well, I do, but y'all will have to wait to find out. Let me know how you feel about him being a vampire, and if you have any ideas about why he's been changed, feel free to let me know and I might consider them. I'll be sure to give credit to whomever gives me ideas that I use. Please review with ideas and any comments you have. Thanks for reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in regards to One Tree Hill or Twilight.


	3. Chapter 3

(Peyton's POV)

The sea of people moving toward the baggage claim almost caught me in their wave, but I managed to keep myself steady in their wake as they continued on. I only held Lucas's gaze for another moment before turning and pushing through the crowd, going in the opposite direction. I forgot about Haley, I forgot everything except the fact that Lucas was a vampire. He was like me. What had happened to him, and why had no one told me?

With my mind reeling, I broke out of the crowd and ran for the bathroom, only barely managing to control my speed enough so that no mortal would get suspicious. I think a part of me hoped that Lucas would have followed me, but at the same time, I really needed to be alone with my thoughts. I was glad that there was no one else in the bathroom, and I entered a stall and lowered the toilet seat before sitting on it, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

The questions swirled in my mind. Why had this happened? Had he been about to die? Did he want this? Had he been forced into this? Who did it? Why had no one told me? Then the more complicated questions came to mind. Did he hate me for leaving? Did he still think about me? What is he doing now? Where is he living(I imagine he's in the airport because he just flew in)? Then there was the million dollar question. Did this change anything?

Well, the obvious answer would be of course, this changed everything, but that would be too simple, now, wouldn't it? Sure, the only reason I had left him was because I didn't want to force him into having this life. I had wanted him to have a normal, human life. If that was now completely out of the question, then where did that leave me? I wanted nothing more than to go out there and see if he still tasted the same, but I couldn't. It had been too long, I was sure.

Before I could even continue to think, I heard the bathroom door opening and Haley came in. I knew it was her, of course, because of her thoughts, and because of her scent. She hesitantly approached my stall, and knocked on the door. "Hey, Peyton, are you in there?" she asked, and before I could answer, she had continued. "I'm so sorry, Peyton. I know I should have told you he was coming, but I didn't expect his plane to get in until later, and I expected us to be out of here by then. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to do it in person, so you would be less likely to run away from me. Can you forgive me, please, and please tell me you're not going to get on the next plane back to where you just came from?" she rambled.

In the past, at least when I had first started hanging out with Haley, her rambling had been mildly annoying, at best, but it had grown on me as much as she had, and after going so long without hearing it, I had to admit it was amusing, and slightly comforting. So I guess that's why I didn't stop her. I stood and opened the door, and then pulled her into a hug, for once glad for the contact. "It's okay," I said as I pulled away.

She was surprised, I could tell by her thoughts. As I pushed past her and headed for the mirror, she stood still for a moment. Then she followed after me, studying my face in the mirror. "It's okay?" she asked, and I nodded. "Are you sure? I mean, I understand if it's not. I know you haven't seen him since you left, and things between you didn't exactly end well," instead of dwelling on the past, she continued right on to talk about the present. "I mean, you know he's Nathan's best man. You guys are going to have to interact some, during the wedding party activities the next couple of weeks," she clarified.

With a slight chuckle, I turned away from the mirror and looked at her again. "Haley, I'm absolutely positive. It's okay. It's been too long now to worry about the past. I'm sure he's forgotten all about it and moved on, and I have too. It's no big deal, okay, I promise," I held up my hand with the sign that meant girl scouts honor. It's a good thing I was never a girl scout, and that I'm a damn good liar, if I do say so myself.

She hesitated, but eventually decided to believe me. "Okay, then, let's go get your luggage," she said, and started for the door to the bathroom. I followed after her, taking a deep breath as I entered the crowded airport once more. The crowd had thinned, and a quick scan told me he was nowhere to be found. I was kind of glad for that. Okay, scratch that. I was extremely grateful for that. I still had absolutely no idea what I wanted to say to him.

Haley and I got my luggage, and then we went to the Cafe. I said I wasn't hungry, and I wondered for the first time what Lucas was doing for food. I wanted desperately to find out how he felt about everything, because even though he had always said he wanted to be changed, it's different when the actual changing occurs. I wondered if he still wanted to be what he now was, or if he was having trouble accepting it.

Just outside the door to the Cafe, I remembered that Lucas's mom worked there. How was she going to feel towards me? She probably would hate me. I mean, I would hate the girl that just abandoned my son one day out of nowhere, for apparently no reason. I hesitated and grabbed Haley's arm, pulling her to a stop. "Haley, I don't know if I can go in there. Karen probably hates me," I said, looking at her imploringly.

She shook her head and pulled me inside, and I could tell from her thoughts that she really believed Karen didn't hate me, so I slowly followed. I glanced around as we stepped up to the counter. There weren't that many people here, just an elderly couple, here for an early dinner, I suppose, and a man typing away on a laptop in the corner.

Looking around, I realized Karen was in the back. She came out a moment later though, smiling when she saw Haley, and stopping in her tracks when she saw me. I tried not to listen to her thoughts, but I had to know what she thought of me. She didn't hate me, I was surprised to realize, and when she got over the shock, she walked around the counter and pulled me into a hug.

For I moment I tensed, and stood still in her arms, but then I relaxed into the hug. I honestly couldn't believe she didn't hate me, but then, Karen had always been nicer than I deserved. She showed us to a booth, and then made a fuss over me when I said I wasn't going to eat. She made some conversation for a couple of minutes before going off to get Haley's food. I leaned back, and wondered how long I had until I saw Lucas again. At least, that was what I was thinking about until I heard Haley's thoughts.

Sitting up straighter, I wanted to ask her to repeat that, but she hadn't said anything about it yet. She was just thinking about saying it, and I had to wait until she actually got the nerve to say it out loud. I stared at her until finally she did. "I kind of have a confession to make. I have a friend who's going to be at the wedding, and he really wants to meet you. I kind of told him we'd meet him here," she said hesitantly, her thoughts telling me the whole story, not that I could say anything about that.

With a groan that wasn't completely forced, I threw my head back and looked at the ceiling before looking back at her. "Hales, you are so lucky you're my ride, because otherwise I would so be leaving right now," I said, sending her a glare. "This is not a date," I was quick to add, just to make sure she got that. She nodded, but there was a smile on her face that made me wonder if she really was agreeing with me.

A few minutes later, the door to the Cafe swung open, and I knew that it was the guy Haley was trying to set me up with, because she looked up and smiled. My back was to the door, so I had to turn my head to get a look at him as he approached. The smell hit my nose only because the open door blew it in, and I knew what he was instantly.

In the back of my mind, I heard Haley introducing us, but his eyes were locked with mine already, and I knew he knew the truth as well. The shaking of his hands would have given him away, even if the scent hadn't. "Julian, this is the woman I was telling you about. Peyton, I met Julian in one of my classes. He comes from the south," Haley's voice was barely registering but of course, my mind filed this away.

Though I was aware that there were more of them, I had never met another shape-shifter before. Jacob's pack of Quiluetes were the only ones I'd ever actually seen, and even then, that was only in memory. I had to give him credit, though his hands were shaking, his step didn't falter, and his charming grin stayed on his face as he appraised me, taking in the difference in my eye color than what is normal of my species.

As Haley finished speaking, and he reached our table, only a few seconds had passed, but he did have his hands under control, and I knew we would have a brief truce, at least, until we could talk. Neither of us wanted to harm any of the humans, or cause a scene that we would have to explain. He didn't hold out his hand, but I took another sniff, and realized that he was not wolf. I wondered briefly what he did turn into.

Only his eyes betrayed the hatred between our species as he sat down, and we both said our greetings. I was sure Haley couldn't see it, though, because I could hear no sense of alarm in her thoughts. I could hear his thoughts, too, I realized as I heard all the old prejudices running around in his head. The color of my eyes was the only thing stopping this from turning into a fight right here, regardless of the witnesses.

When he slid into the booth, I saw his hands tremble again, and I knew he was losing his control, because his thoughts were wavering. He was fighting every instinct he had to not jump across the table and start ripping me apart right now. I knew I had to act quickly, even though I didn't shy away from death these days. I knew the scene wouldn't be appropriate. "I'm not like the others of my kind. I don't harm humans, obviously," I spoke the words quick and low, so Haley wouldn't hear, and my eyes flicked to her.

That thought registered in his mind, and I saw him calm his trembling hands again. Haley was babbling on about something, not even noticing the exchange that was going on between the two of us. "I'll explain later. Just don't cause a scene," I murmured again, my lips barely moving, but I knew he heard me, even if the humans in the Cafe didn't.

With a very slight nod, that no one else would notice, he turned his head toward Haley again, joining in her conversation with barely a second glance at me. A few seconds later, Karen arrived with Haley's food, and took his order, while I still insisted I wasn't hungry. I had hunted just before my flight, though it hadn't been nearly enough to fill me. I think the last time I fed before that was two weeks ago.

Still, I didn't want to cause alarm with the shape-shifter, so I insisted I wasn't hungry in the slightest. His eyes had found mine when Haley and Karen tried once more to force food on me, and from his thoughts, I knew what he was really wondering. I held his gaze firmly as I repeated the words that I didn't need any sustenance. His thoughts caught the phrasing, and he broke the eye contact.

As the meal wore on, Julian did warm up to me a bit, and I had to admit, while he smelled absolutely revolting, he had a nice personality to go with his good looks, and he kind of intrigued me. It wasn't natural, but I thought maybe if the two of us hadn't been natural enemies, we perhaps would have made a nice couple. Of course, that is also factoring in the fact that nothing would ever be between me and Lucas again.

The name caused the depression that had fallen over me since I had originally left Tree Hill, to flow over me in waves again, nearly taking me under. I rarely thought his name anymore, but seeing him earlier had unlocked it from the drawer I had tucked it away in my mind. I didn't want to think of him, because it caused me enough pain to literally wish I was burning alive, but I quickly controlled my anguish in regards to my company.

Even though I regained control fairly fast, tucking my pain away and forcing his name and image with it, I knew from Julians thoughts that he had noticed, and he speculated in his mind about what had caused it. Haley's thoughts were still on the conversation, and her eyes were on Julian, but he stared at me for a moment, and I met his eyes, trying to ignore his thoughts, before we both turned our attention back to Haley.

Luckily enough, Haley had to go to the bathroom once she finished eating, giving me a moment alone with Julian. I watched her walk out of earshot before speaking. "I don't harm humans, like I said before. I only hunt animals. I've never harmed a human in my existence, and my family shares my beliefs. We have a treaty with another group of shape-shifters, and I would like this to not go to a fight, at least not here, okay?" I cocked my eyebrow as he thought over my brief explanation, not knowing I could hear every thought in his mind.

Due to my ability, I knew that he was just as intrigued by me as I was by him. The basic instincts to kill me were still there, but he was intrigued enough for me to know that he didn't actually want to kill me. It almost reminded me of when I had met Lucas, and everything inside me screamed to kill him, to taste his blood, but I was intrigued enough to control the instincts.

Of course, thinking his name sent me reeling in agony again, especially tied to that specific memory as it was. I closed my eyes as the familiar waves of pain and depression rolled over me, nearly crushing me, but it wasn't quite as bad as it normally was. I mean, it was still crippling, to any normal person, but I endured it just a little bit better, and I was able to regain control quite quickly. I didn't know if I was getting stronger, more immune to it, or it had something to do with the friendship I had just formed with Julian. I was just glad for that tiny bit of relief.

It was Julian's thoughts that reminded me I was still here, just a few seconds after the pain had started. I opened my eyes, and could feel my razor-sharp teeth nearly ripping into my granite-hard lip. I slackened my jaw, and examined his thoughts. He was feeling a strange pity for me, and I could tell he knew I had been in pain, both times. He just didn't know what was causing it. He wanted to, though. I was a little surprised by that.

In fact, I was so surprised by his desire to know what was wrong, I found myself answering his thoughts. "It's kind of, um, a guy issue," I murmured, lowering my eyes. It wasn't until his thoughts turned confused that I realized what I had done. I looked up to meet his startled gaze. "The look on your face told me you were curious," I tried to cover it up, but I knew he didn't fully believe me.

His deep brown eyes assessed me, as well as his thoughts, and I found myself being honest for once. It wasn't many people I could be honest with, and I was relishing in the feeling. "That's not true. I can read minds. It's one of my special abilities," I admitted, meeting his gaze. His thoughts turned questioning and I answered the main one. "Yes, I can hear every thought going through your mind right now," I held his gaze.

While his gaze was still startled, and his thoughts were a little disgruntled, he managed to compose himself after a moment. "I've never met a bloodsucker like you before. I have to admit, this is strange, but what do you say. Would you like to call a truce? At least while we're here, for the wedding, we won't kill each other, and maybe we can even be friends, as long as you don't hurt any humans," he held his hand out as a peace offering.

Hesitantly, I reached out and shook his hand, feeling the hot fire of his touch. It briefly registered in his thoughts that my touch was like ice, before he pushed the thought away, looking at me speculatively as he wondered if I heard that. We each pulled our hands back to our own side of the table, and he reached up to rub his nose without thinking about it, and he winced at the smell. As that thought went through his mind, he pushed it away again, looking at me to see if I'd given any signs of hearing it.

It took a moment for me to sort through my emotions, but the smile was on my face before I had, and I was surprised to find it was real. "Yes, I heard that, and I know what you mean. I guess the smell is just one of the downsides of being a vampire and befriending a shape-shifter," I was also surprised by the teasing tone to my voice, but I didn't let that register on my face. "Speaking of that, what animal do you turn into?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

The thought went through his mind before the word left his mouth. "Panther," he answered, staring back at me. There was a moment of silence as we both tried to figure out this slightly weird, newfound friendship. Then he decided to just move on. "So, about this guy issue," he paused, and I waited for him to voice where his train of thought had gone. "You want to talk about it, as friends?" he asked.

Even more surprising than anything else that had happened this afternoon, was my desire to say yes. I really did want to talk about it with someone, but I couldn't. Even thought seeing him made me able to think his name, it still brought on the pain, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to actually say his name yet, not without being crippled by the memory of him. I was going to have to figure out how this whole thing with me being maid of honor, and him being best man was going to work. I wasn't sure it would, but for Haley, I would try.

When I shook my head, I could hear in his thoughts that he thought I meant I didn't want to talk to him. I shook my head. "No, it's not that, really. It's not you, it's the situation. It happened two years ago, and I still feel the pain like it was yesterday. I'm not ready to talk about it yet. To anyone," I corrected, and I could hear him consider this.

Then his thoughts took a more interesting turn, and he grinned that charming grin at me. "Did anyone ever tell you that answering thoughts like that can be damned annoying?" he asked, and I smiled again, feeling relief, for some reason. I rolled my eyes at him playfully, but before I could answer, Haley was walking toward the two of us again.

Standing, I formed a plan in my mind, knowing exactly what would come of it. Would he even care, though? I wasn't sure about that one. His thoughts had been as silent to me today as they'd been on the day I'd met him, which was only that much more frustrating. I forced away his thoughts before the pain could come and smiled at Haley. "Julian and I are going to go hang out some more, and get to know each other better," I told her, grabbing Julian's arm before either party could protest, and pulling him out of the Cafe.

**A/N: **_I'm super duper sorry that this update is so long in coming. It's kind of short, and I'm sorry for that too, but this was where I felt it should end. I think I'm going to focus on Peyton and her point of view for a while, before I begin to reveal Lucas's story. I think it'll give it more suspense, and this is going to be good, I promise. Tell me what you think, and again, I'm really sorry it took me so long to update. I'll try to be better, but I can't make any promises because my internet is down. _

_Now, who's seen New Moon????1 have seen it three times, already. I loved it!!! It was so amazing. I absolutely can't wait until it comes out on DVD. I love Edward, of course, but with that being said, Taylor Lautner is SEXY!! Actually, all those Quiluetes are. Anyway, review, please, and talk to me about New Moon, if you want, but tell me what you think of this chapter._

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing in relation to One Tree Hill or Twilight._


	4. Chapter 4

**(Peyton's POV)**

**When Julian had driven far enough out of town that we wouldn't be seen, I made him stop the car, and I got out and started running. It wasn't long before I heard the giant cat running behind me, and then he had passed me, with a derisive snort, and I could hear him thinking, 'Is that all you've got?' I sped up my steady lope, until I was running neck and neck with him, and then we both sped up, turning it into a race. I had to laugh as I did. It felt incredibly freeing, in ways I couldn't even begin to describe.**

**After a while, I realized we had run clear into the next state, and we turned around and ran back to the outskirts of Tree Hill. I didn't go all the way to the actual city. Instead I stopped at a place I used to hunt, an open clearing where we could just sit and talk. He ran away, and I could hear his thoughts, so I let him, and a few minutes later, he came back into view in his human form, wearing the same clothes he'd been wearing earlier.**

**We both sat down, though it was more a habit for me. Despite all the running, I could have stood until the world crashed down around me without getting tired. That was one of the perks to being what I am. My thoughts turned to the newest newborn that I knew about and I had to bring my knees up to my chest to stop it from ripping open with the pain. I knew my organs were all there, really, even if they didn't work anymore. It just felt like they weren't anymore, in a completely different way than it had first felt when I had been changed.**

**Julian's thoughts alerted me to my audience. It was so easy to forget everyone else when I was thinking of him, because the pain was so consuming, it was hard to believe I even existed anymore. Except that I knew I did, because the pain never went away, and I was counting on the pain to stop on the day I stopped existing. I realized then that I would have to change my plans a little. If he was going to exist forever, I couldn't exactly end my existence when he died anymore. So what was the appropriate amount of time to wait before finding a way to get out of this world?**

**Once again, Julian's thoughts broke through my painful stupor, and I fought against the waves, managing to surface in the present. "I still can't talk about it," I said quickly, because he was thinking about asking me what was wrong again. I changed the subject before he could respond, and it worked to get him talking about something else. The thing that surprised me, was I was interested in his conversation, in his company, more than I'd been interested in anything since I'd last lived in Tree Hill.**

**(Haley's POV)**

**Letting myself into the house, I knew that Nathan was home because his car had been out there. I called out his name as I headed for the kitchen. He met me there and pulled me into a kiss. He looked behind me, then looked back down at me curiously. "Where is Peyton?" he asked, throwing a nervous look over his shoulder, which didn't really connect in my mind the way it probably should have because I was still slightly dazed from his kiss.**

**The effects this man still had on me were mind-blowing, and I hoped they would never go away. I cleared my throat, my eyes on the lips I'd like to kiss again, as I tried to remember the question. "Oh, um, I mean, we went to lunch with Julian, and she seemed to really hit it off with him, because she left with him without even telling me where she was going. I only hope she remembers the fitting for her dress later. I reminded her of it when she called to tell me about her plane ticket," I replied distractedly.**

**Surprisingly, Nathan's mind was on other things, and he glanced over his shoulder again, and it was then that I realized something was up. I followed his gaze, and saw Lucas standing there. I tried to gauge from his look whether or not he'd heard me, but he was unreadable. He took a step closer and when he spoke I knew the answer. "Who's Julian?" he asked, and I knew he was trying to sound casual.**

**Instantly, I felt really bad, and I tried to backpedal. I knew that all things considering, Lucas still wasn't over Peyton, even though he liked to pretend he was. Nathan stayed silent, leaving it up to me to get out of the hole I had just dug myself. I didn't blame him, really. We didn't want to see Lucas fall back into the depression he'd been in, and I'd wager that Peyton hadn't been in touch because she had been in just as bad shape, though she'd never admit it. "Oh, just a friend of mine from school," I answered nonchalantly.**

**As I spoke I walked to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, as if my words had no consequence. I was sure Lucas didn't buy it. I mean, no one had ever told me I should be an actress, but if he didn't believe me, he didn't let me know. He turned to look at Nathan. "Are you ready to go back to getting your ass beat at basketball?" he asked, a challenging tone to his voice that Nathan, being the guy he was, instantly responded to.**

**They both went back outside, and I wondered what it was about guys that made them so competitive about sports. Oh, I know girls can be competitive too, of course, but guys were different. They cared about sports in a different way. It must have something to do with the y chromosone, and I decided I would never understand them. Of course, there are things about some women I don't get either.**

**Like I don't get how Peyton could have just walked away from a love that could have lasted her forever. For a while I had tried to defend her, not to Lucas, of course, because no one spoke her name to Lucas, especially not in the beginning. I had tried to defend her to someone else. I had said that I'd known her, and that Peyton would never do something that self-destructive unless she thought it was absolutely necessary. She must have had a good reason.**

**After a while, though, my defense sounded like excuses even to me. I knew Peyton had loved Lucas so much, and I knew how much he loved her from the way he reacted. So why did she insist on hurting them both so much? I just couldn't understand it. I tried to picture me being in a situation where I had to leave Nathan, but I couldn't imagine anything that would make me feel better off without him. I was too selfish to leave him, because I knew I couldn't live without him.**

**So, really, I couldn't understand why Peyton had left, except maybe she didn't love Lucas the way I had thought she did. I decided it wasn't my business to get into, though, so I would stay out of it. If Lucas and Peyton got back together, fine. If they didn't, and she got with Julian, that was fine too, and I would be happy for her. Either way, I wanted to keep in contact with her, because she really had been my first friend, and I still consider her the best friend I've ever had.**

**(Lucas's POV)**

**As soon as I heard Peyton's name, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation, even though I was in the backyard. I listened to what she had to say, and before I could think about it, I was standing in the entrance to the kitchen, as Haley finished speaking. Maybe I needed to see her face for confirmation that the information was correct. I'm not sure, but being in the room just meant they were watching me. **

**When Haley had said that Peyton had gone out with someone else, I felt like my nonbeating heart stopped all over again. It no longer felt like it was in my chest, immobile. It felt like it wasn't there at all. Like it had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on all over again, but even worse than before, though I realize that made no sense. It felt like I had no other organs anymore, and I could only take solace in the fact that I no longer needed them. If I had required oxygen, I would have been gasping for breath.**

**Some small part of my brain remembered that I was still in Nathan and Haley's kitchen. I knew neither of them really believed that I had moved on from my feelings for Peyton, but I needed them to believe that this didn't affect me, so they wouldn't tell Peyton that it did. So I kept my face carefully composed, and asked Nathan some innane question of little consequence, before going back outside with him.**

**Even as we played basketball, my mind was working furiously, trying to figure out why this new news affected me so. I guess because in the beginning, I had always held out some sort of hope that she had left for me, so I could lead a normal human life. I hoped that she really did still love me, and that she was hurting by this as much as I was, but she was letting her stubbornness get in the way of her happiness.**

**If she had moved on, though, then that meant she really had meant everything she had said in the letter, and she really didn't love me, and she just plain didn't want to be with me. That hurt more than anything, because it crushed the last part of my heart that was holding out hope. The hope was gone now, and so was any expectations. She was never coming back to me, ever, and I had to accept that.**

**I didn't want to accept that, though. I wanted to believe that it hadn't all been a waste of time for her, that it had meant something. If she was moving on, though, then I was nothing, and that caused whatever progress I had made-though I admit it was very little-to backfire. This was like taking one tiny baby step forward, only to be forced to take twenty giant steps back again, and I hated that she still had this control over me.**

**Another reason, I knew, had nothing to do with hope at all. Even when I was in my darkest hours, really recognizing the fact that she had never loved me, I had hung on to the promise she had made in the letter. She had told me that she wouldn't be going down this road again. She wouldn't alter the life of another human the was she had altered mine, because it brought about too much trouble. She had broken that promise today, even though I had never really expected her to keep it, I still hadn't wanted to know about her breaking it.**

**When I came to that realization, I wished that I had never agreed to come here at all. Now I would have to see her again, and talk to her, and listen to how great her life is. I'd have to listen to her use whatever cover story she was using now, and I'd know the whole time it was a lie, and I'll always wonder what is really going on with her, but I'll never get the courage to ask her.**

**The worst possibility is possibly becoming friends with her. If we have to act like friends, to please everyone else, I might actually fall for the lie that maybe, just maybe she can somehow like me one day. I'll fall for all her lies all over again, and I won't be able to stop it because if spending any amount of time with her will ease the pain just a little, I'll do it, no matter what the consequences are later.**

**I know the consequences will be harsh, too. I'll feel the same pain all over again when she walks out of my life, only this time it'll be worse. I don't know if I'll recover from it again, but that won't stop me from hanging out with her, or trying to change things. I know no matter how much I try, nothing will change, but I'll try anyway, because I can't not try. I'm still so much in love with her that I can't bear the idea of not trying, even if she's just going to throw me away again.**

**Nathan stopped the ball in motion and turned to me, and I knew he was going to want to have a brotherly chat. I wished that he wouldn't, but I knew there would be no stopping him, so I decided to just take whatever he had to say as noncommittly as possible, and hope to get out of this conversation as soon as I found a way out. "Listen, Luke, I'm sorry I didn't tell you she would be here, but I knew you wouldn't come if I did," he started.**

**Of course, he was right. I very well might have said no if I had known the truth. Still, I couldn't blame him for this. Not if I wanted to get out of this conversation anyway. "Nate, man, it's fine. I get why you didn't tell me, and there are no problems, okay? I'm not going to ditch out on your wedding or anything, and I'm not going to freak out or anything because she's here. It's fine. I'm fine," I lied through my teeth, but Nathan didn't need to know that.**

**With a slight nod, he started bouncing the ball, but I knew this conversation wasn't over. He spoke with his eyes on the ball, though I knew he could dribble blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. "You can talk to me, man, if you need to, you know that right? I mean, I think it's messed up the way Peyton left you with nothing but a note, but you're happy now, right?" he asked, finally looking at me.**

**I could tell that he really needed me to answer that I was happy. The lie got caught in my throat, though. I wished I could say I was. "Listen, Nate, I admit things were really hard, and it's still hard, but I've moved on now, and apparantly, so has she. It's all good, brother," I said, even though it wasn't true. At least, the part about me moving on wasn't, not fully anyway. I was sure I would never completely move on, though, so what was the harm in continuing the lie?**

**After studying me for a while, he nodded and we started playing again. I was glad to have gotten out of this conversation in the least painful way possible, but part of me wondered why my mind kept lingering on the sound of Peyton's name. I finally figured it out that until today, I hadn't heard the name spoken out loud since she'd left. It was different, hearing it again, and not experiencing the crippling pain I had been expecting. It was almost nice.**

**(Peyton's POV)**

**It was hours before the fitting that I finally remembered it, but I also remembered that I had something else to do. I had to go speak to my family, and find the culprit. I had to admit, it was strange to think they'd been able to hide anything this big from me, but I was sure, if anyone knew something, it had to be Alice. There was no way something like this had happened without her knowing anything about it. **

**Suddenly I didn't want to leave Julian, though. We hadn't exactly been having what anyone else would call fun, because we were really only sitting there, him talking, while I basked in my absurdly pain-free stage. Of course, there was no way I would have been able to think or talk about him, and still stay pain-free, whether Julian was there or not, and the rest of my life seemed oddly uneventful to me since he had come into my life, only to be ripped away from me, so I had just let Julian talk.**

**I knew, though, that as soon as Julian left, if not immediately, then at least soon after, the pain would come back with a vengance, and it would get it's revenge for me being free of it for now. I knew that, and yet, it wasn't just for that selfish reason that I wanted to remain in his company, though I did admit that all of my reasons were selfish. I knew, because of his thoughts, that he was feeling more towards me than friendship, yet I couldn't bring myself to set him straight, to tell him the truth.**

**The truth, of course, was that I was broken, an empty shell of the person I used to be, with no hope of ever being whole again. Sure, he seemed to be able to fix up the outside of me, make my presentable to the public without me crippling under pain I could barely control, but still, the inside would never be normal. I would always have inner damage, that no one could fix, and it was all my own fault of course. There was nothing anyone else could do to make me whole again.**

**If I told him that, though, surely he would realize what a lost cause I was, and I desperately didn't want to be. I decided that I would let things continue the way they were going, unless he got the idea that he could change me, that anything would. I would have to set him straight then, of course, but until then, until the day he finally realized just how wrong I was, I would stay near him as much as possible, and hope he continued to make the pain go away.**

**Something else bothered my mind, though, something niggling at the very back, that I couldn't quite figure out. I stared at him for a moment, into his deep hazel eyes, and I realized what it was. I could feel the physical attraction between us, that was battered back by our difference in species, and then I knew for certain what it was. I wasn't ready to go anywhere close to that thought, though, so I forced it away, to be dealt with at a later time, if ever at all, and shook my head, as if that would help.**

**To distract him from where his thoughts were headed, and because I really didn't want to face the pain yet, because I knew it had been building, growing, like a mutating monster, that would come to consume me as soon as my sheild left-which is a little ironic, considering I'm the real monster, and I deserve every ounce of pain that comes at me. I could literally feel the pain there, at bay, laying in wait for the moment I was least ready for it. It nearly felt tangible, but I was sure that was only in my convulted thoughts.**

**Anyway, I forced myself to focus on the moment, and I focused on Julian, my personal savior, so warm and unsuspecting as he kept the pain away without even knowing it. "Hey, do you want to come with me? I've got a quick issue to settle with my family before I go back into Tree Hill, and I'm sure they'd be interested to talk to you," I said, and I could hear his briefly debate it-face a houseful of vampires, vs. leaving me-before I heard which side came out victorious. He nodded, and I began to run before he could speak.**

**It was a few seconds before I heard him following, in his panther form now, and I led, able to find the joy in running that I hadn't felt in such a long time. I realized then that I wouldn't have to run anymore with Lucas on my back. He could run beside me. I wondered if he enjoyed running, too. The thought came out of nowhere and shocked me so much, that I nearly stumbled at the sudden stab of pain. Then Julian was next to me, nunging me as we ran, and I ran a hand through his fur, grateful for his presence as the pain backed away again.**

**By the time we reached my family's house, I had thankfully gotten contol again, due to Julian mostly. I stopped when I saw the house, and realized Edward had sensed me coming, because they were all gathered in the foyer. I could tell that they were almost more surprised by my presence than by the giant panther slightly behind me, but then I knew that was because Alice hadn't seen me coming at all, thanks to Julian. I almost felt grateful for that, because they didn't know why I was here now.**

**Marching straight up to Alice, I knew she of all people, had to understand why I was here, and she would be the one who could give me the answers for sure, no matter who did this. I was also relatively sure it was her. "Okay, you meddling, annoying little pixie, you're going to tell me what happened, and you're going to tell me now," I said, startling myself with the anger that flared to the surface. I felt the calming waves coming from Jasper, and I sent him a glare with no emotion to back it up.**

**After turning my gaze back to Alice, I heard her thoughts go from confused, to sudden understanding, and then she suddenly came very interested in thinking about her alone time with Jasper. It was then that I truly knew she knew something, and she was hiding it from me. To see who else knew, I guess as a sort of test for everyone else, becuase I could tell they were all still wondering why I was here, but that could have been fake. "Lucas is a vampire," I broke the news bluntly to them, though my eyes stayed on Alice.**

**At everyone else's mental wince, I could tell none of them had anything to do with it. They couldn't hide their true feelings from me that well. I was more focused on the fact that I had just said his name, and the way it felt on my tongue-so good, like his name was meant for me to say it, and no one else. I almost expected the pain to flood over me and take me back under, but then I remembered Julian.**

**A slight smile formed on my face as I walked over to him and started stroking his fur, grateful for his presence more than anything, because if I was going to start saying, or even thinking his name, I would definitely need my pain-reliever. He was still in panther form, and I knew it was because he wasn't sure whether or not to trust my family. I knew that he could smell what Jacob was though, and that was giving him more reason to believe we were safe.**

**As if realizing just how much he was comforting me, he sunk down into a laying position next to me, seeming relaxed, but still taking in everything, leaning against my leg. I focused my attention back on Alice, because of the warmth that was flowing into me. "Why did you do it," I turned my gaze on her, and I knew my voice was desolate as I studied her thoughts, searching for answers.**

**With a whine, Julian nudged me with his head, and I really couldn't stand on my own two feet anymore. I sank next to him on the ground and leaned against his warm body, lacing my fingers through his black fur. Alice wasn't hiding her thoughts anymore, not completely anyway, and I could see him being changed. It all played out in her mind, though she was careful to keep the identity of the vampire who changed him a secret.**

**It didn't matter anymore what she hid, though, because I suddenly realized why I didn't know a thing about this. I realized Alice had seen no more than him being changed because she hadn't wanted to look, and the only other one who could keep this big a secret from me was the one person who was conspicuously absent from the room. I wondered why I didn't think of it before as my gaze snapped to her mate.**

**Edward looked as shocked as I was as he put the pieces together. Since no one else could hear our silent conversation, they were all still confused. I didn't care about that though. I was suddenly on my feet again before I could even think about it. "Where is she, Edward?" I asked, but before he could speak, I had plucked the answer out of his head and I was already running, Julian with me as I ran.**

**Just before I made it out of earshot, I heard Edward mumble to everyone else. "Don't follow. Bella isn't in any danger." I knew his words must have been to Alice, because she was the only one who really knew what was going on. I contemplated his words, and realized that he must mean I wasn't angry anymore. I knew if there was any possibility of me hurting her, Edward wouldn't have let me go two steps. If I was still angry, he would have followed, to play the mediator.**

**Halfway there, I realized something, and I came to a complete standstill so fast, that Julian had to backtrack to come back to me. I was still angry, and I wasn't sure I could control myself if I talked to Bella. I also realized something else. I wasn't ready to know the truth yet. I wasn't ready to talk about this. That must have been what Edward meant. I wasn't a danger to Bella, because I wasn't going to talk to Bella.**

**With that in mind, I started running again, in a different direction. I was on my way back to Tree Hill, and I should be able to make it to the fitting. When I made it to the outskirts of town, I decided to just go straight to the address I could remember Haley telling me, because I was a little late. It meant that I had to let Julian go, though. "Hey, so we should hang out tomorrow," I said once he had came back into the clearing I was in, this time as a human, with his clothes. I gave him the number to the cell phone I had picked up yesterday.**

**Before he could say anything that would make things awkward, because I knew he was trying to decide what to say, I gave him a wave, turned, and started to run. I didn't slow down until I made it to the boutique. I checked my clothes, to make sure I hadn't done any damage to them while running through the trees and such. I realized I was just stalling, and forced myself to go inside. I saw Haley, and one of her sisters, and I assumed that would be it. "Hey, sorry I'm late," I said, walking over.**

**I didn't make it but a few steps before the little bell rang over the door again, and Brooke Davis entered the shop. I wondered what she was doing there, but, as I looked at Haley, I realized that wasn't the only thing I should be curious about. No, surely not, the thought flashed through my mind, but then I heard Brooke's thoughts, and I knew without a doubt. Brooke Davis was Lucas's girlfriend.**

**A/N: **_Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I decided to end this one with another shocker, but I assume this ending will shock you more than the last. I hope you all review. I don't really have time to say anything else, but please, please review._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything to do with One Tree Hill or Twilight._


	5. Chapter 5

(Haley's POV)

I wanted to tell Peyton as soon as she came in about Brooke, but she only came in seconds before Brooke, so I didn't really get a chance. I knew that I should have told her earlier, but given her shock at the fact Lucas would be there, I decided not to push it, and then she took off with Julian, and I hadn't seen her since. So really, I hadn't had the time to tell her. She couldn't be mad at me, could she?

She turned her gaze on me, and I swallowed, knowing what was coming even before she pulled me away from the rest of the crowd. "Sorry, Peyton, I should have told you that Brooke was Lucas's girlfriend, but, really, what's the big deal, right? You're over him, aren't you?" I asked, knowing I was putting her on the spot, but she kind of deserved it. I wanted to know the truth. Was she over him or not?

When she turned her gaze on me sharply, I realized that I hadn't actually said that Brooke was Lucas's girlfriend, before, so maybe she hadn't realized it when Brooke had come in the room. Maybe she had just been shocked to see Brooke. Oh, well, the cat's out of the bag now. No one should trust me with a secret. She smiled wryly, but it was more the ghost of a smile than anything.

I waited for her to speak, and she seemed to realize she hadn't answered my question. "I mean, yeah, but I didn't think he had gotten a new girlfriend, and Brooke? Of all people. Does he not remember what a bitch Brooke was? She was a bitch to you, and me, and does that just not matter to him anymore? Or did he never car in the first place?" she snapped her mouth shut, the look on her face saying she thought she said too much.

Before I could formulate a response, she was talking again. "Of course I'm over him. I just would never have pictured him with Brooke, that's all. I guess it was a shock," she said softly. "Let's just go get fitted, okay. I'm not going to freak out or anything. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, okay. Everything's fine," she assured me.

I didn't bother trying to contradict her. I just followed her back to the area where Brooke and my sister were now getting into their dresses. I took the one I had picked out a long time ago from the woman and tried it on. This would be my last fitting, while the girls would have to come back the day before the wedding to be sure the woman got it right.

The dress was very simple, with cap sleeves, and a sweetheart neckline. It hugged my torso and then flowed down to my knees in a light, layered fabric that swished when I moved. The first time I had seen it, I knew that it was going to be perfect, and as soon as I tried it on, I was absolutely certain it was the one.

Now when I put it on and the measurements were all right, I knew that Nathan would be blown away. I don't normally brag about all my good looks, because, really, I think I'm pretty average, but this dress made me feel like I was worth every time Nathan had told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

Peyton's gasp snapped me out of staring at my reflection, and I looked over at her, wondering what her reaction would be. She smiled at me, the first real smile I'd seen out of her all day. "You look absolutely stunning, Hales. You are going to blow Nathan away, and dare I say you will most definitely be the most beautiful one there," she said with a firm nod.

Even Brooke had something nice to say, which really surprised me. She looked me over, and then gave a stiff nod. "Yeah, I have to admit, Haley, you look pretty great in that dress. I'm sure Nathan will love getting you out of it," she kinked her eyebrows in a suggestive way, and then turned her attention back to herself.

All the bridesmaids' dresses were the same, red, strapless with sweetheart necklines. I would have asked Peyton's opinion on it, but I had been too chicken to call her before she got the invitation, so she was stuck with what Brooke and my sister had picked out. She didn't look bad in it, though, which didn't surprise me. I'm pretty sure Peyton could pull off anything.

Rolling her eyes as if she's heard me, she met my gaze in the mirror, as she stood there with the woman taking her measurements. She didn't say anything, and I couldn't help but wonder what the eye roll was for then. She shook her head slightly and looked over at Brooke when Brooke's phone started ringing.

I recognized the ringtone and I could only pray that it wasn't who I was thinking it was. From the way she leaped to answer the phone though, I was exactly right, and I felt my stomach sink in anticipation. She flipped her phone open and turned her back, as if that could block out her words. I wished that it would.

Peyton stared stonily as we listened to her side of her conversation with Lucas. She was very buoyant, as if she wanted Peyton to hear, like she was trying to stake her territory or something. Maybe she was. Maybe she wanted Peyton to know that she was with Lucas now and she wanted to rub Peyton's nose in the fact that she wasn't. If that was the case, it was a pretty crappy thing to do.

I felt bad as I listened to Brooke, because I had a feeling it was killing Peyton, though she didn't show it, except in the way she clenched her jaw tightly shut. Things had been going so well, too. Then Brooke brought up Peyton, and I thought it was a wonder that Peyton didn't say anything back.

Brooke had been rambling about how much she had missed him, and how happy she was to see him. "Oh, yeah, Peyton's here. I don't know what you ever saw in her. She's a stone cold bitch. You really deserve better than her. She doesn't seem like your type. You need someone fun, and sexy. You know, someone like me," she had lowered her voice, but she had to know we could all hear her.

So, maybe Brooke really hadn't changed, and Peyton had been right. I really had to admit, I was disappointed in Brooke. Thankfully, right when Brooke finished her little spiel, the woman announced she was done with Peyton's measurements. Peyton stepped off the stool and went back into the dressing room to change, faster than I'd ever seen anyone walk before.

After a pause, in which I assumed Lucas was talking, Brooke answered back. "Okay, baby, if you really have to go. I need to get my fitting done anyway. I love you," she said, and a moment later she was shutting her phone, and turning back towards us. She looked around, like she didn't know what she had done, and questioned, "Where's Peyton?"

Before I could answer, not that I would have, Peyton came out of the dressing room, in her street clothes again-how the heck did she change so fast?-carrying the dress on her arm. She handed the dress to the woman, and headed for the door, brushing past Brooke like she wasn't there. "Wait, Peyton," I called, following after her once she made it to the door.

She waited for me outside, and I closed the door to the shop behind me. "Peyton, I'm so sorry. I really didn't think she would pull anything petty like that. I thought she had changed. Ever since she and Lucas started going out again, she's been around, and so I've been forced to hang out with her, but she hasn't acted that much like the bitch she used to be. I'm sorry," I felt the need to apologize for Brooke.

Shaking her head, she sent me a tight smile, which I knew she was still faking. The muscle in her jaw was still tense, and I had to wonder about her self-control, because I would have wanted to punch Brooke, if I were in Peyton's shoes, or at the very least, throw a nasty comment of my own at her. "It's okay, Hales, really," was all Peyton said.

I knew it wasn't, of course. How could it be? So why was she choosing to ignore Brooke now? I wasn't sure, but I was pretty sure she wanted to get as far away from Brooke as possible. I would let her. "So, where are you going?" I looked for some kind of vehicle for her, and didn't see anything. "How are you getting there?" I added.

Biting her lip, she shrugged. "I don't know, Hales. I'm getting away from Brooke, and I'm walking I guess. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Go back in there, before you get your dress dirty. Really, I'll be fine," she said, giving me a quick hug before turning and walking away, never giving me a chance to protest.

Feeling increasingly worried about Peyton, for reasons I didn't really understand, I decided she was going to do whatever she wanted to do, and I headed back inside. She could take care of herself, I was certain. So why, then, was I feeling this sense of dread in the pit of my stomach, like something was going to go wrong?

Trying not to dwell on that feeling, I headed back into the shop. I ignored Brooke as I went to the back of the shop, to change out of my dress and back into my street clothes. I finished getting dressed and hung my dress on the hanger, leaving it in the dressing room as I usually did, and then went back into the main part of the shop.

I told my sister I was going to leave before going up to the woman who owned the little boutique. "Thank you so much. It fit perfectly, and I'll pick up the dress when I pick up the bridesmaids' dresses," I said, all the while still ignoring Brooke. I turned to go, but she stepped off the stool and followed me before I could get very far.

When she grabbed my arm, I turned on her, cutting her off before she could say anything. "That was a really bitchy thing you did, Brooke. I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt since you started dating Lucas, and I managed to convince Peyton to do the same today, and you ruined it, by being the total bitch you've always been. You know, people are supposed to change once they get out of high school. You haven't," I said, not wanting to listen to anything she had to say.

I really was trying not to hurt her feelings, because I didn't want to stoop to her level, but I couldn't help what I said. It was all true, and she should know it. I turned before she could say anything back, but she still spoke anyway. "Wait, Haley, what are you talking about?" she said, so innocently, like she really had no idea.

I think that ticked me off more than anything. "Don't play dumb, Brooke. You never were a stupid bitch. You know exactly what you do, and how to tear people down. I can't believe I ever thought you'd change," I paused. "You know, maybe this is your way of trying to make drama between Lucas and Peyton, because you know as well as I do that they're meant to be together," I added as this new thought occurred to me.

Nodding, I noticed the emotion flash in her eyes. "Yeah, you know it too, don't you, and I guess that makes you feel like you have the right to be a bitch to her, because you've always wanted him, and you know that if they ever get their heads out of their asses, then they'll figure out what you've realized all along. Lucas doesn't really love you, and he never will," I said, a little harshly, but still. It's the truth.

For once, Brooke Davis was struck speechless, and I took that as my cue to get out of there. I'd never really bitched anyone out like that before, and it was strange, the feeling it gave me. It was nice, but I think I'd leave the bitching to the people who can handle it better. I just couldn't let Brooke get away with what she'd said.

When I got home, I knew that Lucas was still here, and now the guys were playing basketball on the Playstation. I rolled my eyes, but I met Nathan's gaze, and gestured for him to meet me in the kitchen. I went in there and a moment later he followed. "What's up, baby? How did the final fitting go?" he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me.

I leaned away from his lips and he pulled back to look at me. I didn't need his prompting. "Brooke was being a bitch today, to Peyton. You know when Lucas called her earlier. She just said some really shitty crap, and Peyton didn't even do anything. She just left, without saying a word to Brooke. What happened to the Peyton who didn't take any crap from Brooke?" I sighed, leaning my head on Nathan's chest.

He rubbed my back, and kissed the crown of my head. "I know, Hales, I don't know what happened to either of them. Lucas originally broke up with Brooke because he hated the crap she gave to other people, and you know that he knew what she was doing, and yet they didn't even fight about it. He just got off the phone with her. What happened to my brother?" he answered.

For a minute, I was so distracted by Nathan, the smell of him, the feel of his arms around me, everything that I completely forgot about what we were talking about. I looked up at Nathan and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him for a minute, losing myself in the moment, and reminding myself of the best things. I was going to marry Nathan.

It was hard to focus on that, though, because I really was worried about Peyton. "I just don't get it. I mean, both of them have changed since graduation, and they're not the same people anymore. Why can't they just see that they're only hurting each other and get over whatever happened that caused Peyton to leave?" I asked rhetorically.

Shaking his head, Nathan didn't seem surprised that I had cut off our make-out session to keep talking about this. I was glad that he knew me so well, and that he realized how much this was bothering me. "I really don't know, baby, but they've got to figure it out on their own, or both move on. Lucas has Brooke now, and you said Julian and Peyton hit it off. Maybe things will be different now," he said.

I tried to pretend to be pleased, but I wasn't sure that was the way things should work out. This couldn't be right. In our senior year, I had known that Peyton and Lucas were meant to be before I even had hopes for me and Nathan, and if they couldn't make it, when I'd been so sure, how was I supposed to believe that anyone could last?

Instead of voicing my fears, I gave Nathan another kiss. I broke away and decided to start cooking dinner. "Alright you, go back to hanging out with Lucas. I'm going to make dinner. Go play your basketball," I gave him one last kiss and sent him out of the kitchen, but before he could make it far, Lucas entered the kitchen.

Since we had been making out for the last couple of minutes, I felt relatively sure that Lucas hadn't heard anything, but I couldn't be totally sure, so I shared a look with Nathan, who just shrugged, and we both turned our attention to Lucas. "I'm going to go talk to Peyton. It's about time we talked," he said, and he didn't give us a chance to protest before leaving the house.

I shared a look with Nathan as we both listened to the front door open and then close. I didn't know what to do. Should we be happy that he was going over there? Or was this only going to lead to a fight between our best man and maid of honor, and cause tension to hang over all the events until the wedding. I guess we'd have to wait and see.

(Bella's POV)

When I got back from hunting, I knew something was up. Everyone was gathered in the living room, and I could tell they had been talking about me just before I came into earshot. I walked over to my Edward, because I knew I would have the best shot at getting an honest answer out of him. I noticed the looks on everyone's faces, though, and suddenly I knew what this was about.

Renesmee was close enough to reach out and touch my cheek and when I saw the image of Peyton, and then Lucas, with red eyes, I knew that I was right. They knew. I froze, my initial reaction in stressful situations, and looked at Edward. "How does she know? When did she find out?" I asked him, keeping my eyes locked on his.

Before he could answer, not that it really mattered, it only mattered that she had found out, Alice had a vision. I knew because Edward looked over at her sharply. "What, what is it?" I asked, and I could tell she was still seeing something, because her gaze was on Edward's, but she wasn't really seeing him.

When she came back to the present, she looked at me. "Lucas is going to go talk to Peyton, but if he goes now, she won't react well. Right now she's wallowing in her own pain, and she won't be happy if he interrupts her. This can't end well," she said, her tone asking me what I was going to do.

It took me a moment to consider, but I didn't think too much on it. There was only one thing I really had to do. He couldn't talk to her now. I knew Peyton and I knew exactly what would happen if he found her, without even seeing what Alice and, as a result, Edward, had just seen. So I guess I was going back to Tree Hill, too.

**A/N: **_I know it's been a while, but I hope you like this new chapter. I'm kinda at a loss here for where I'm going. I have a general idea, but no firm plan in place, so any suggestions are welcomed, and I guess I'll try to just follow where the story takes me. I hope you like the chapter, and thanks to those who read the last chapter and reviewed. I appreciate each review._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything related to Twilight or One Tree Hill._


	6. Chapter 6

(Bella's POV)

I managed to convince Edward to stay home, only by promising I'd tell him the whole story when I got back. Alice wanted to come with me too, of course, but I managed to convince her to stay home too, only by threatening to burn my whole wardrobe. She knew I'd do it if I got the chance, so she stayed behind. She would pout, but I wasn't going to give in.

When I made it to Tree Hill, I found Lucas just as he was knocking on the door to Peyton's old house, which she still owned. I could smell as soon as I arrived that she hadn't been there in a long time, but maybe he wasn't thinking clearly and he didn't realize that the last time she had been in the house was the last time she had been in Tree Hill.

Actually, given what he was doing, I was pretty sure he wasn't thinking clearly. If he had been thinking clearly, he would realize what a bad idea this was. He would realize that if he approached Peyton before he was ready to tell the whole story, then they would only fight because they're both stubborn idiots, and nothing would ever get fixed.

So, I slowed down once I reached the porch and slowly walked up to him. He turned toward me and sighed. "You're going to tell me that I can't see her. Why, Bella? You've only been trying to get me to talk to her for over a year. Why are you changing sides now?" he asked, but instead of going to find her regardless, he sat down on the porch steps.

I sat down next to him, leaning against the opposite post, and didn't say anything for a moment. It was true. I had always been trying to force them to talk, but I knew that Peyton wasn't ready to listen yet. She'd still be pissed because of what happened. "Sorry, Luke, but we both know neither of you are ready for this confrontation," I said simply.

For a minute, I could tell he wanted to argue with me. "Go be with your girlfriend," I said, and he couldn't argue with that. He didn't even try. He just got up and left and I knew that he was doing the right thing. He knew it, too, and one day he'd thank me. I knew today, though, that he'd just as soon not talk to me. Well, he could be mad if he wanted. It didn't change anything.

Knowing that I had to finally go to Peyton and tell her the whole truth, I tried to figure out where she might be, because I knew she wasn't in her house. So where was she? I didn't really think she'd be ready to face the place she and Lucas had once spent so much time, but I decided to go check there anyway, because I couldn't think of another place in Tree Hill that held any weight for her.

As I approached the River walk, I noticed that I was right that she wouldn't be able to go into the clearing underneath the bridge, but my instinct to come here had still been right, because she was sitting on the bridge, looking desolately at the trees that hid the clearing from view. I approached slowly enough so she would have ample time to tell me to go away, but she didn't, so I sat down next to her.

She surprised me by speaking up as I sat down. "What is the point of not being able to cry, when you can still feel pain?" It wasn't necessarily that she spoke that surprised me the most, it was more that she was admitting to hurting over Lucas. Actually, it was that she admitted to hurting, period. Peyton never admitted to feeling pain, and she had once said, shortly after becoming a vampire, that the best part about it was she was unable to cry.

So that was why it took me a few moments to come up with the right response, and before I could say anything, Peyton turned to look me in the eye, and she said one simple word. She wanted to know why. Of course she'd start with the hardest question first. I knew it was time to tell her the truth, though. "I know what it's like to be him," I answered, but I knew that what she was really asking was what happened.

Taking a slow unneccessary breath, I started at the beginning. "When you began to act the way you did, I knew he couldn't be doing any better. I didn't go to him until I found out how worried his family was about him, though. I knew I was the only one who could sympathize with him, and talk to him without you knowing, so I told Edward I was going to hunt alone, and then went to Tree Hill," I said, remembering that first day.

"He was worse than I imagined. It had been months, and he was still not living. He was skipping classes. He flunked out of the first year of college for goodness sake. He ignored his family members. It was like he just stopped caring about anything altogether. I knew that he needed help getting back to normal. I mean, I never expected things to turn out like this. I only wanted to help him become human again," I trailed off.

Peyton had gone back to looking at the trees, and I knew it was because she realized the worst part was coming. "Like I said, he stopped caring about most stuff. One day he ran a red light, and got hit by oncoming traffic. It was bad, Peyton, real bad. I was going to see him, and I saw the accident. I knew he would die, if I didn't save him. I changed him myself, because I didn't think he'd make it if I took him to Carlisle," I stopped as the images flashed in my head.

Her eyes drifted closed for a minute, and I wasn't sure whether she wanted me to go on. I was trying not to remember all the blood, and I knew she was trying not to imagine it. I was sure she was remembering the smell of it, too. She stayed silent for a long moment, before she opened her eyes, which had darkened considerably. "Keep going," she demanded.

Wondering if she was really ready to hear all of this, I decided to just go on anyway. "Okay, well, after the three days, during which I had to keep running between home and the woods near home where I had hidden him, he woke up a vampire. This was almost a year ago now. The changing didn't make him enjoy life anymore," I said and she drew in a sharp breath.

I ignored that, and didn't add in the fact that he'd hate any life without her in it. "He didn't want animal blood, much less human blood, and he went straight back to his despondant way of life, with contacts to keep people from seeing the red eyes. I kept as close a watch over him as I could, and he's had no accidents, whatsoever," I informed her, sounding almost proud of him.

This seemed to make her at least slightly happier, and I knew she was glad that he didn't have any deaths on his conscience. "It was months after the changing before he would even speak to me. I think he resented me because I changed him. For a while, I think he almost would have preferred to be dead," she closed her eyes again, and I knew she was feeling guilty.

Holding my tongue, I managed not to snap at her. He had only resented the lifestyle because he believed she hadn't wanted him, and he didn't see the point of living forever without her. The only thing that stopped me from telling her that was because I had promised him I would keep everything we talked about a secret. I seriously wanted to smack some sense into the both of them, though.

Instead of doing this, I continued, going on with how we came to this point. "He took some coercing, but eventually he agreed to start classes again this year, and he even took some summer courses, to help make up what he missed during what was supposed to be his freshman year. He started talking to Brooke again. I guess Lucas's mom enlisted her help, because Brooke and Lucas used to be so close," I paused.

I wasn't sure whether I should tell her the next part, but I would. "Everyone thought it was Brooke that got him back to life, even Brooke, probably, but that was only because no one could know of my friendship with him. What really happened, was I got tired of his silence, and I guess I just sort of went off on him," I admitted sheepishly, but she had to know the real truth. I let the memory wash over me for a minute.

_FLASHBACK_

_Not bothering to knock, I stormed into the apartment I had set Lucas up in, so he didn't have to have a roommate. I was sick and tired of his moping, and I had just watched Brooke walk out of the place nearly in tears, and I had heard the whole conversation. "What the hell is your problem. I understand you blowing me off, but she did nothing to you, and I'm tired of you being a heartless jackass. I didn't save your life for you to waste it," I shouted._

_His response came back without a beat before I finished talking. "Why?" he asked, and I just blinked, some of the anger leaving me. "Why did you save my life, Bella? If you can even call this a life. Why did you do this to me?" he shot right back at me, looking satisfied because I had no answer to give him. He thought that would end the arguement._

_He was wrong, because I was able to respond as soon as he finished his little rant. "I saved you because I thought your time wasn't over yet," I didn't add because I thought his time with Peyton wasn't over yet. "I thought you still had life to live, and you'd still live it. If I had known all you were going to do was waste it, I would have just left you to die," I spat back, tired of his attitude._

_This time he was the shocked one. The satisfied little smirk slipped off his face, and he had nothing to say now. "Damnit, Lucas, why can't you just accept the way things are, and start living again. You know, no matter what you might think, Peyton wouldn't want you moping around like this. There's nothing aluring about a pathetic moping loser, who does nothing. Take charge of your own life," I said, realizing maybe I was pushing him too far._

_Sinking onto the couch, he buried his face into his hands. I slowly walked over to him and started gently rubbing his back. I hadn't meant to use Peyton in my arguement that way. I hadn't meant to bring her up at all, really. He raised his head, but didn't look at me. "You're right. She wouldn't want me like this, but then, she didn't want me at all," he paused. "It just hurts so bad, every day," his voice was soft._

_I stayed silent, and, like I thought he would, he went on. "It's fitting that my heart doesn't beat anymore, because she ripped it out as soon as she left. For so long, I really felt like my insides weren't functioning anymore. Now they really aren't, and to be honest, it doesn't feel much different. I can't function without her, Bella, it's hard. Everything is hard. Without her, there's no point," his voice was a little louder._

_Shaking my head, I tried not to go back to that brief period of time-which had felt so long when it had happened-when Edward had left me. "I understand that, Lucas, probably more than anyone ever could, but still, you have a reason to live. As long as you have a life, you still have time. Maybe one day you'll meet someone who could help you hurt less," I said, because I knew he would be worse off if I mentioned Peyton again._

_He seemed to know what I was thinking, though. "She won't be back. She said in the note that it would be like I had never met her. How could she honestly be stupid enough to believe that? I mean, I had always thought her the smart one, but if she believed that, maybe I was wrong. Why did she lead me on so long, if she knew she was going to leave?" he asked rhetorically._

_Not sure if he truly wanted the answer, I decided he needed it. This would be the last time we spoke of her, I was sure by the finality in his tone. "I don't believe for a second that she did. She really wanted to stay with you forever, but things got to hard for her. She wanted more for you, and when Peyton gets an idea in her head about what's right for someone she loves, then no one can change her mind," I answered._

_His face shut down, and I knew I'd never be able to say another word to him about Peyton. He wouldn't listen, and it would only hurt him more if i forced it on him. So I stood up, knowing there was nothing more I could do here. "Alright, I'll see you later," I said as I walked to the door. I paused before leaving, and turned back to look at him, still in the same position. "You'll be okay," I whispered, but, of course, he could hear me._

_END FLASHBACK_

Instead of going into details, I decided it was best if Peyton didn't know exactly what I said to him. I looked over at her, and I could tell she was just about done with this conversation anyway. I still had one more thing to say, while she would let me talk about him. "Peyton, it's not over. Don't give up on him yet," I said, getting up and getting ready to leave. She didn't stop me, and I knew she was going to ignore my words.

(Peyton's POV)

As soon as Bella was gone, I took a few more moments, letting the information sink in, and staring at those trees I had been staring at since I had left the dress fitting shop. I couldn't enter them, not now, maybe not ever, but sitting here almost made me feel closer to him, in a way. I wasn't sure anymore that I would be able to do this, but for Haley, I would try the best I could. It was only a until the wedding, right. Then we could go back to our seperate lives.

If only I could really believe that. The wedding had changed everything again, and I wasn't sure I was going to survive this. The pain had been incessant waves, trying to pull me under ever since I had run away from Haley, but I had yet to succumb to them, not to the point where I couldn't function. I knew I needed one thing though, to help me ignore them completely.

It was strange how dependent I was on Julian after only one day of knowing him, but right now I didn't know how I had put up with this horrible pain for so long, without Julian working as my antidepressant against it. We had exchanged numbers today, so I called him, and asked him to meet me at my house. He had planned on staying in a hotel, I knew, but I would offer him my bed, since I didn't sleep.

WIth one last look at the trees, I took off at a run, making it to my house in moments, and I waited on the front porch for Julian. I still wasn't sure how I was going ot make it through to the wedding, but maybe, just maybe, if I had Julian with me, I could make it. I knew I was using him in probably the worst way, but maybe-and this was a big maybe, but I didn't have much else to hope for-I could return the feelings he was developing one day.

It was a bit too much to hope for, but I hadn't hoped for anything in so long, I couldn't help but put all the hope I had in this one possible solution. It wasn't fair to Julian that I was putting so much of my hope in him, but I would monitor his thougths, and if he expected too much, I would walk away. I hoped that I would have the strength to do that, but it was all I could promise myself.

To be honest, it just might kill me if I had to walk away from him now. The pain of losing the only hope I had left just might send me over the edge. I decided then that if it ever came to that, I would have to go to the Volturi. I would try to keep that thought tucked away in the deepest corner of my brain, though, because prying minds like Edward or Alice might try to stop me.

It wasn't a few minutes later that Julian came loping up in human form to my house. He still had the stride and attitude that alluded to his panther alterego, and I gave him a hug, happy at the feel of the pain being restrained, pulled away like a tide is pulled away from the coast, except this tide wouldn't come back, not with Julian here, and I led him into the house.

We went my guest room, because it was the one with the bed, and sat side by side on said bed. I put on music, so we wouldn't be pressured to fill the silence, but it didn't matter, we talked over it anyway, no coercian needed to talk to each other. I actually told him some of my past, moving back to not just pre-Lucas, but pre-vampire, and it was strange to remember that part of my life.

I had always, since becoming a vampire, thought of my life in two stages: Vampire, and Pre-vampire. It was easier that way, and the memories just seemed to separate that way. I tried to stay away from the pre-vampire memories altogether, before Lucas anyway, and the vampire memories were just so much clearer, it was easy to pretend that was where my life began.

After Lucas came into my life, brightening my whole world, like my own sun, practically. He brought brightness and light to my life, and I once again considered my life to be cut into two parts: Before Lucas, and Lucas, which was really the best part of my whole existence. It was only a year, but it became the year I would never forget, and I would keep those memories tucked away forever.

During that year, though, Lucas had taught me to open about my past, in a way that I had done with no one before. I told him all the horrid stories of my human life, and he sympathized with me, and comforted me, and generally made me feel better about that whole part of my life. I didn't even mind talking about it with him, and that was why my two previous sections of life merged into one, because it was no longer harder to recall one or the other. I wanted to rememeber it all for him.

Once I left him, I couldn't shut those human memories away again. I couldn't figure out how. I shut out the part of my life that he had been in, because it was even more painful to remember than my human life. I couldn't think of the good times with him, because it was a harsh reminder of what I'd never have agian. My life returned to darkness, and it was like my sun was eclipsed for the past couple of years.

Now, though, with Julian next to me, it almost seemed like the light could return to my world. Not necessarily in the form of the sun, but maybe the stars could come out now, even if the sun was still hidden, I could have a moon, and a night sky. Maybe that was all I would ever get. It was better than the darkness, but I would never get the sun again. I could live with that, maybe. Could he?

Instead of talking about all that with him, I left it to the side for now, and told him about my human life, because he certainly seemed interested in it. I couldn't understand why, though really. I didn't deserve his kindness. "Why do you care so much? Why are you still hanging out with me? Why haven't you just left? Not that I want you to," I was quick to add.

Laughing, he shrugged, before he realized that I was completely serious about wanting to know the answer to my questions. "I guess I just like hanging out with you," he paused and I kept staring at him, so he tried to come up with a different answer. "I'm not really sure myself, Peyton. I don't have an answer that I really understand, and I don't really think I could put it into words anyway," he said.

For a moment, I thought about trying to get him to explain, but then I decided maybe I didn't need to know. If I couldn't explain myself to him, why should I expect him to explain himself to me. It wasn't very fair. So I just went back to talking about my past, trying not to compare his reactions to Lucas's, and really trying not to think of the blonde at all.

A/N: So, what did y'all think? I don't have much to say about this chapter, but I hope you do. Give me your feedback, and I'll try to get my next update out faster.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill or Twilight.


	7. Chapter 7

(Haley's POV)

From across the store we were in, I watched Brooke for a moment, to make sure she was out of earshot. I turned my attention back to Peyton, almost afraid to bring up the topic I knew she wanted to avoid at all costs. I decided to beat around the bush for a bit, as long as Brooke stayed out of earshot. "So, I notice this is the first time you've spent away from Julian since you met him. I'm actually surprised he's not here. He's not going to crash the bachelorette party tonight, right?" I asked.

Rolling her eyes, she stuck her tongue out at me before returning her gaze tot he rack of clothes she was looking at. "Oh, come on. You're exaggerating," she said, holding a top up to herself. I didn't say anything, and she looked up to notice my gaze. "Okay, fine," she surrendered, putting the top back on the rack. "I've spent a lot of time with the guy. It's not a crime. We're friends," she insisted. "He won't be crashing the party tonight," she promised.

Still studying her, I knew she wouldn't say anything else. She had been insisting that she and Julian were just friends since she had met him. I looked into her eyes. They were bright green, as they usually were when she was in a good mood, but sometimes I felt that she was hiding this constant pain behind them. I got a glimpse of it occasionally, but it seemed whenever I tried to discern whether or not it was really there, she realized I had seen it, and worked even harder to hide it.

Before she could move on to the next rack, and closer to where Brooke and my sister were looking at clothes, I grabbed the shirt she had just put back on the rack and handed it to her. "You should buy it, or at least try it on," I insisted, glancing at the rack for a moment, trying to sound casual as I went on. "So, um, have you talked to Lucas since you've both been in town?" I picked out a shirt and walked over to the mirror, further away from the others.

With a knowing chuckle, she followed after me, standing behind me and meeting my gaze in the mirror. "No, not really at all," she answered, moving her gaze down to examine the shirt. "I like the style, but I think the deep blue would be more your color," she said, taking the red one away from me, and coming back with the deep blue, handing it over. "Nathan will adore it, I'm sure," she added.

As she walked away, to a display of jeans, I followed her. If she really thought that would be the end of the conversation, she was crazy. She made a scoffing noise in the back of her throat, as if she had heard my thoughts. I almost thought I heard her mutter, 'I wish.' "Listen, Peyton, I'm going to just cut to the chase right now," I said, putting the few items in my arms down, and glancing to make sure that Brooke was still on the other side of the room.

Also setting her things down, she met my gaze. I thought I might have seen the pain behind her green eyes in that moment, but she closed them before I could really tell, and when she opened them again and I looked at her green eyes, all seemed well again. "It's about time, Hales. You've only been wanting to say something throughout this whole shopping trip. I'd love it if you got whatever it is off your mind," she replied.

Sighing, I guessed it was time I just came out with it. I sent one glance over my shoulder, and looked back at Peyton. "Listen, I'd be the first one to tell you to work things out with Lucas, if I thought you guys would do it," I started, noticing her wince. "I just think that maybe, since he's moved on with Brooke, and you're starting to move on with Julian, maybe it's time you both stop dwelling in the past, if it's what you want," I said with a shrug.

For a moment, she didn't say anything, and I worried I was overstepping my boundaries, but if we were going to return to our old friendship, we had to be honest with each other, right? I hoped she would see that. She finally nodded slowly. "Thanks for telling me what you think, Hales. I appreciate it, I do. You just," she paused, trying to find the words. I knew what they would be before she said them, "don't understand," she finished.

Something made me remember the pain I sometimes saw in her eyes, and I realized maybe she was right. If she was suffering the kind of pain I thought she was, the kind of pain I would feel if I lost Nathan, a pain I don't even want to try to imagine, then I didn't understand, not really. I could understand enough, but to truly understand her pain, I would have to experience it, and that was something I never wanted to happen.

Nodding, I didn't say anything. There was no need for words to answer, we both understood the silence. I pulled her into a hug, and then turned the subject to lighter matters as we continued shopping. She grew more withdrawn as we continued going through the different stores in the mall, hugging her arms across her stomach as she carried her bags, and I knew it was because I had brought up Lucas. I almost wished I hadn't.

When we were in the food court, getting a late lunch, I got the orders of the Brooke and my sisters, and then sent them to the booth, so I could wait in line with Peyton and we could bring the food back to where we were going to sit. There were quite a few people in front of us, and Peyton was avoiding my gaze. I opened my mouth to speak, but she turned to me before I could. "Don't, Hales, it's okay," she said, with a smile. I knew it was forced, and after a moment, it slipped away.

I knew it wasn't, though, and I couldn't leave it that way. "No, Peyt, I'm sorry I brought him up, really. I know you don't like to talk about him, but I am sorry. I just want you to be happy again, you know that right? You are my best friend, and I don't want you to disappear again," I admitted, finally voicing what had been on my mind since she had gotten here. I was kind of afraid she was just going to disappear one day.

Surprising me, she pulled me into a hug. I think that was the first time she'd ever initiated any contact between the two of us. She pulled back and sent me a real smile this time, or at least, as real a smile as I'd seen from Peyton. "I'm not going to just drop out of your life again, Hales. I promise," she said, and we had to move up in line and give our orders, so no more conversation was possible for a few moments.

When we got our food, and started walking to the table, Peyton slowed, and I knew she had something else she wanted to say, so I hung back with her. "Haley, when I left..." I knew she didn't want to say his name, "after graduation, I pulled away from everything, not just you, and this place, but my family, too. I know now that it was wrong, and I don't intend on doing that again," she spoke in a soft but firm voice, which I knew meant there was no doubting her words.

Waving a hand, Brooke called us over, and we didn't get a chance to continue the conversation. I knew she knew I believed her, though. The meal was nice, and though Peyton didn't eat, which didn't surprise me; she had told me long ago that she hated eating in public, even in front of her friends. She waited until everyone else finished eating, then she said she had to go, and she would be there in time to set up for my party.

After I watched her go, I turned to my sisters and Brooke. My sisters also had things to do, which left me with Brooke. She had gotten a ride with my sister earlier, and she now asked me to take her back to the house so she could find Lucas. I couldn't say no, of course. She wouldn't be mean, I knew. Since she'd gotten together with Lucas, we'd seemed to form a friendship, and before Peyton came back to town, we were pretty close friends. There was no reason that had to change.

(Brooke's POV)

After the shopping trip, I returned to the apartment with Haley so I could find Lucas. We rode together, but for most of the drive it was more awkward than it should have been. I knew she would take Peyton's side, and I realized that had been making me avoid her. I decided to break the ice anyway. "Listen, Haley, I know you've always been a Pucas," I liked to put couples names together, "fan, but I'm with Lucas now. Can't we still leave the past where it is?" I asked.

Her first reaction was to deny what I'd said, but then she seemed to cut herself off. "It's not really that you're with Lucas that I don't like. I mean, I know you've been good for him, and I won't deny either of you that. It's just, I used to hold them up so high in my mind. I never thought they'd break up, and when they did, I always kind of thought they'd get back together. I guess I'm having problems accepting that they won't," she replied.

Before I could open my mouth and say anything else, she continued. "I guess another part of it, is that they were the first couple I saw, besides my parents, that really seemed like they were honestly going to last. They were, like, perfect for each other, and a part of me has always wondered, how do I expect to make it with Nathan, when we're so different, when Peyton and Lucas couldn't make it, and they seemed like the perfect couple," she finished, looking over at me.

I honestly didn't know what to say to that. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth, not knowing what was going to come out of it. "Hales, I know you believed that, then, but that's not the way it is anymore. Lucas and Peyton obviously weren't that perfect for each other, if she left him. They didn't make it. Lucas and I, we're still together, and that's the way it is now. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but you have to accept it," I retorted.

I didn't give her a chance to react to my words, and the little bit of bite in my tone before I continued, wanted to get off the subject of Peyton and Lucas as a couple. "I know you wouldn't have thought I would have said this in high school, but I think you and Nathan are the couple that I look up to. You two really are amazing together, and it's so easy to see how in love you are. I hope to be in your space one day, getting married to a man who looks at me like Nathan looks at you," I said.

For a minute, she didn't say anything, and I wondered what she was thinking. "I guess I've always kind of held our past against you, even when we were friends, before Peyton came back into town. I shouldn't have done that, Brooke, and by what you just said to me, I know how much you really have changed. You're not the same person you were, so I can't hold that person against you. I'm sorry I was doing that," she finally said.

That made a lot of sense, actually, and it surprised me, only because I hadn't thought of it before. I could definitely understand where she was coming from now. "You're right, though, Haley, and I guess I should have expected that. I was a heartless bitch then, and there's really nothing for you to apologize for. I'd probably be weary of me, too, if I was in your position. I can't blame you for that," I paused for a moment, and I knew we were going to be getting to the apartment soon.

I wanted her to be clear on where I stood before we got out of the car and ended this conversation, though. "It may surprise you, but I can honestly say I'm happy for you and Nathan. If I had told myself back in high school that I would end up saying this, I would have laughed my butt off, but I honestly mean it. I'm really glad to be here for you while your marrying Nathan, and I only hope you can be happy for me and Lucas," I said sincerely.

Nodding slowly, she smiled reassuringly. "I really do believe that, Brooke. It's like you said, if you had told me back in high school that we'd be here today, even during out senior year, I definitely wouldn't have believed you. I'm glad we got here, though, not just because I'm about to marry Nathan in a couple of days, but because we're friends now. I'm glad you changed, and I'm glad I changed, too. None of us are the same as we were back then, and that's not really a bad thing," she replied.

There was hesitancy in her voice as she continued on. "I know it's not my place, but I really think this needs to be pointed out. Please, don't hate me for saying this, remember, I'm saying this as your friend," she paused, and suddenly I wasn't sure I wanted her to continue. "Are you sure Lucas really does make you completely happy? I noticed that you said 'man' earlier, not Lucas, when you were talking about marriage," she rushed to add.

The question shouldn't have caused me to hesitate. I should have been able to immediately answer. So why did I pause? "Of course, Lucas makes me happy. I'm completely happy with Lucas, and I would love to be married to him one day. When I was talking earlier, I wasn't talking specifics, I just said a man. I could easily see that man being Lucas," I said, but the words sounded almost like I was doubtful of that. I hoped she didn't hear the doubt in my voice.

From her emotionless expression, I couldn't tell what she thought either way. She held up her hands in surrender, and I realized she might have heard a defensive quality in my voice. "Okay, Brooke, now, if I say this, don't bite my head off again. Were you trying to convince me there, or were you trying to convince yourself?" she raised an eyebrow and glanced at me before looking back at the road again. I honestly didn't know.

Fortunately, we pulled up at the apartment, and we both got out, getting our purchases out of the car. "Leyton," she said as we walked toward the apartment. I looked at her like she was crazy, wondering what she was talking about. "I think Leyton sounds much better than Pucas. That sounds just nasty," she said, crinkling her nose. "I guess that's why you call them that, though, huh," she added, and I laughed with her as we entered the apartment.

(Peyton's POV)

When I left the mall, I went straight to the Riverwalk, and I sat on the bridge, just looking at the trees. I wondered if Lucas was able to go into our clearing, and remember the fond times we'd shared there. I realized that he probably didn't, not because he wasn't able to, but because he didn't want to remember those times, and as much pain as that caused me, I knew it was all my fault.

Talking with Haley had made me think of him, and with no Julian around, it had been all I could do to stand up, and walk around. I had known the whole trip would be difficult anyway, but the conversation had made it nearly unbearable. I knew I should call Julian right now, and get a dose of my painkiller before the party, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than stare at the trees for a moment, as the pain nearly pulled me under.

I didn't want to call him, because I knew that would only draw him in more, draw me in more, and I wasn't sure I would be able to give him what he needed in return for his help. Haley was right about me spending so much time with him, and her bringing it up to me made me realize the damage I could be causing. I decided I would try to get through tonight without talking to Julian, or seeing him. I would try to do it. No, there couldn't be trying. I would do it.

As I sat there, I wondered if his name was going to continue to come as easily to my mind with as little pain as it did now, or if I was going to be able to shut his name up in that small part of my mind, with the rest of everything that reminded me of him, like I had before. I wasn't sure which one I was hoping for. On the one hand, the pain reminded me I was still living, and thinking his name reminded me that it was real, but sometimes I wished I could just be numb, or forget.

That was the paradox of my life now. The pain was so horrible and crippling and made it hard to remember, but at the same time, I was terrified to forget, lest I forget that small time in my life when I was truly happy. I didn't want to forget, but it hurt so much to remember. Did he go through the same things, or had my letter, like I had hoped it would, caused him to hate me enough where he didn't have to feel the pain that constantly crippled me.

When I had written the letter, that had been my one intent. I had finally come to terms with the fact that I had to leave him, and so I had written those words so he would hate me enough, and be angry enough at me so he wouldn't have to feel this pain, and that he would forget me easier. I knew he was human, and easily distracted, so I hadn't thought that he would be tormented by my leaving for long. I hadn't expected this outcome.

The very fact that he was a vampire now threw my whole plan, my whole life, off-kilter. It was obvious he had moved on with Brooke, and that hurt me even more. That he would choose a human, any human, over me now that he was a vampire, spoke a great deal of what our relationship had meant to him. If it had really meant something, he would have come and found me when he was changed, and we at least could have talked.

Then again, maybe he really truly did believe the lie. I couldn't understand that, though, and I doubt I ever would. I had done everything I possibly could while we were together to make him believe I loved him with everything I had. There wasn't one part of me that didn't love every little thing about him, and just because of one stupid letter, which was a complete lie, he forgot all that. How could he doubt me that much? I had always thought he was a smart human.

Until I started really thinking about the fact that this was the longest period of time I had thought of him, the pain seemed to be in the back of my mind. When I started really considering how in depth I was thinking about our relationship, the pain ripped through me with an intensity I hadn't felt since I had met Julian. Despite my earlier conviction, I couldn't stop myself from calling him. I needed him if I was going to go to the party.

Already, it was like an addiction. I knew it wasn't safe. At any time, he could decide that he wasn't getting enough out of our relationship, or that it wasn't worth it, being close to someone with so much baggage, but I couldn't help it. I was already addicted to the way he made me feel, like the pain was going away, and the wound was healing. I knew no matter how much time we spent together none of it would completely go away, but maybe one day, with his help, there would only be a faint scar.


	8. Chapter 8

(Peyton's POV)

Putting the last of the drinks out on the refreshment table, I looked around the room. It was definitely decorated for a bachelorette party. I still couldn't believe the bachelor and bachelorette parties were happening a week before the wedding, but Haley said that the rest of her family wasn't going to be able to arrive for a few more days, so they might as well get the bachelorette and bachelor parties over, with just their friends, before the week filled with family events.

Of course, all of that was completely Haley logic, and I had just rolled my eyes at her explanation, not even bothering to tell her the bachelorette party was supposed to happen the night before the wedding, because it was supposed to symbolize her last night as a free woman. I knew she would have responded that there would be no strippers anyway, and she just wanted a fun night to hang out with her friends.

Spending some time with Julian earlier had allowed me to put all of my past out of my mind, and allowed me to focus on trying to make this night a really good night for Haley, because even though it wasn't technically her last night as a single woman, symbolically it was supposed to be. I had stuck to her instructions and not ordered strippers, but that didn't mean we weren't going to have fun anyway.

I wasn't very experienced in bachelorette parties, but I was pretty sure less was more with Haley. She preferred not to have extravagant things. In lieu of strippers, I had ordered masseuses, and after we all got massages-I would decline, of course-we would have champagne and play games and talk of fun times. I guess it wasn't much of a wild night, but I was pretty sure Haley would appreciate it.

The next week was going to be stressful, so I was sure she would love the massage, and I knew she wouldn't want to drink too much, which was why I'd stuck to champagne. There was a snack table, and there were a few games that I heard were played at bachelorette parties. I have to admit, I had Googled some party ideas, but looking around the room now, everything was ready, only the guests were missing.

There was only one thing I was really worried about. What if the subject somehow turned to Lucas. Brooke would be coming. I'd had to invite her, considering she was a member of the wedding party, and definitely one of Haley's friends. She could very well start talking about her boyfriend, and whether it would be to spite me or not, I still wasn't sure I could handle it. How was I going to survive the night without Julian?

(Haley's POV)

The party was fantastic. I couldn't believe Peyton had brought everything together. It wasn't like a normal bachelorette party, but it was perfect for me. I was also glad she'd heeded my warning about the no strippers. I didn't need nor want to see any guys junk, unless it belonged to Nathan. He was the only guy I wanted to see for the rest of my life, and that was enough for me.

It was probably not how most people looked at marriage, but I wasn't worried about all the other guys I'd be missing out on, because I had never really had any interest in any other guys. I remembered Edward, Peyton's cousin, and had to reconsider that last statement with a cringe. I had acted strange that day. I don't know what it was about Edward, but he was absolutely mouth-watering. Any straight female would be nuts not to see that.

Back to Nathan, though, even before we had gotten together, I had never really considered the idea of liking someone else. He had had a girlfriend, and multiple lovers, all through high school, but I had never been interested in meaningless sex, and I doubted I would start being interested in it after I was married to the man I'd loved for as long as I could remember. Thus the no stripper rule.

I'd loved the massage, though. I knew this week was going to be stressful, and the longest of my life as time trickled down until next Saturday, when Nathan and I would finally say our vows. and the massage allowed me to forget about what I've been stressing over for months. If every little detail isn't smoothed out by now, there is not much that I can do, and stressing over it won't help.

Of course, the champagne probably helped me realize that too. I don't drink much, and I think the last time I actually drank was the night that I made a fool of myself and Nathan ended up liking me anyway, but I wondered why I had never tried champagne before, because it was doing wonders for me now. "Thank you, Peyton. This is really great, and I just wanted to say thank you for doing this for me," I said as I finally found the blonde.

Smiling, as if amused, she caught me as I tripped. "Whoa, there, Hales. How many of those have you had?" she asked, gesturing to the glass in my hand. "You know what, you don't need to answer that," she shook her head with a small laugh. "You're lucky you have nothing to do tomorrow. You are going to have one heck of a hangover," she mumbled, steadying me, making sure I could stand on my own two feet.

Turning to the rest of the girls, she turned down the music, and I realized that I had caught her by the stereo. "Alright, now that the masseurs are gone, I think it's time to start the games. So everyone gather in a circle," she called out, and then she helped me over to a chair. I wanted to shove her help away, but I wasn't actually sure I could walk on my own. I was feeling strangely buoyant.

(Peyton's POV)

When the games I had planned were done, someone made the suggestion we should play Truth or Dare. I wasn't exactly sure how this game worked, having never played it myself, but the truth had always been enough of an enigma to me that I wasn't sure it was a good idea. I knew everyone else wouldn't be swayed once the idea was suggested, though, so I found myself being forced to go along.

For a while, it was mostly pleasant easy questions, and stupid dares that must have made them feel like teenagers again, or something. I normally stay out of Brooke's thoughts, not because I respect her enough to give her privacy, but because her thoughts are usually so stupid or inconsequential that I just don't care to listen, but when my name rang through her mind, I found myself listening, and I learned where she was headed with this, and I wished I had never agreed to the game.

Smiling over at me when it was her turn, I knew the smile was as fake as my hair had been the time I had dyed it black when I was a human. I stared back, trying and failing to come up with a way to stop this suddenly fast-bound train. "So, Peyton, I have a question for you, and you have to answer truthfully, remember," she cautioned sweetly, for everyone else in the room. "How does it feel knowing that I picked up the pieces of Lucas's heart after you broke it?" she asked.

Blowing out a sigh, I worked to control my temper. I really wanted to do nothing more than wipe that self-satisfied look off of her face. I decided I wouldn't do it physically, though. If she wanted to engage in a verbal battle, then we would, but she wasn't going to like what I had to throw back at her. I would give her one more chance to end this here, though. "Brooke, you didn't even ask me 'Truth or Dare?'," I shot back, keeping my voice pleasant also.

Shrugging, she kept her gaze steady on me, and took another sip of her champagne. I realized that was what was causing her to act more boldly than she would have otherwise. I wished I hadn't gotten the champagne. "I just thought everyone would be interested in hearing the answer to that particular question. I mean, I know I'm just dying to hear the answer. How does it feel, Peyton, to know that I still ended up with him?" she said, her voice losing its false pleasntness.

The rest of the women had gone silent now, and Haley was not yet trying to stop what was going to happen. I knew in her champagne-addled brain, time was moving slower, and she didn't fully comprehend what was going on. I didn't give Brooke the satisfaction of seeing how much that hurt me. Instead I scoffed. "Don't try to ease your own pain, Brooke. You're not hurting me," I said, still hoping this could die down.

No one seemed inclined to stop us, though, most of them wanting it to play out, some of them wanting it to resort to a cat fight. It was funny, how many of them thought Brooke would possibly come out on top if such a fight was to erupt. She was planning on giving the women what they wanted. "I have no pain, and even if I did, I have Lucas to lick my wounds. Tell the truth now, Peyton, does it just kill you that he ended up choosing me?" she narrowed her gaze at me now.

This was getting tiresome. I was done with this. There was only one way to end this, I knew. I was also losing control of my temper, or maybe I wouldn't have been so mean about it. "You don't know a thing about the truth, Brooke. I know the truth of it way better than you. You want to know the truth of things, you ask Lucas, and just maybe, he might be honest with you. We'll see if you want him to lick your wounds if he tells you the truth," I shot at her.

Just the look on her face was enough to make me want to continue. I saw the confusion on her place, and I was angered enough with her that I wanted to continue to tear her down. I was tired of everything at that point, and if she had to force the thought of Lucas on me, I was going to counter the pain with some anger. "Why don't you tell me the truth, Brooke, do you really think if you left him, he'd feel as much pain as when I left him?" I realized I was standing.

Grasping my self-control and pulling it back again, restraining it, I looked around, at everyone who was shocked. I was a little disgusted with myself that I had gone there, and I really hated the fact that she could still get under my skin, but more than even that, I hated that I still felt like defending what I had with Lucas, like I still had it. I still cared, even though Brooke was right, and he had moved on, and I didn't have a right to care anymore.

Biting on my lip, I turned and walked out of the room. I couldn't handle this anymore, and the thought of Lucas was starting the pain all over again. I needed to get out of here. I was almost out of the house before Haley caught up with me. I turned on her before she could speak. "I'm sorry I ruined the party, Haley. I'm so sorry. I've got to go," I said, turning away again and trying to leave before she could get a word out.

Not wanting to let me do that, she spoke anyway. "Peyton, she's intimidated by you, don't you understand that? She's really a changed person, and she's not usually like this, but you bring out the worst in her, because she's afraid of losing Lucas to you. Don't hold it against her. Can you really blame her for that? You said it yourself, he was really hurt when you left, and that's an understatement," she said,.

Despite the amount of champagne she had drank, Haley was sounding oddly coherent, and she really did make some sense. I was surprised that she was sticking up for Brooke, and that, more than anything, made me realize that maybe Brooke had changed, and this was just an unfortunate relapse. I still didn't want to stay, though. I had frozen when she had started speaking, but I started walking again when she was finished.

There wasn't much I could do. I almost wished I hadn't said anything to Brooke, but still, I brought up some good issues. What was he going to do? It wasn't like he could ever tell her the full truth, unless he wanted to change her. I think that thought hurt me more than anything Brooke could ever sat to me, but I didn't want to dwell on that at all, because it could only bring more pain.

Instead I tried to come up with any other thing to think of. Even what Brooke had mentioned, didn't hurt as much as thinking that he would change her. She was right, though. How could he still have ended up with her, after everything we went through. I had told her back in high school that she would never be with Nathan and Lucas would always love me, and never anyone else. Did he have to make me eat my words now?

Without thinking of where I was going, I just ran. I was so lost in thought I didn't even begin to consider what my next move would be, or where I was going, or even who I was going to talk to. I did realize one thing, though, even as much as the pain was killing me, I didn't give a single thought to going to see Julian. I guess because of that, it's only fitting that I ended up where Luacs would be.

(Brooke's POV)

As Peyton walked away, I saw Haley follow her, and I suddenly realized that it would always be like that. Peyton would always be held up first, in Haley's mind, and maybe even in Lucas's. Haley would always look out for Peyton first, and she would always, even if she said otherwise, wish Lucas was with Peyton, and not me. The question was, would I ever be able to get past that, or would it always haunt me?

It didn't even matter to any of them that Peyton was the one who had gotten the last word in, that she had said the last hurtful things to me. I could feel the eyes of everyone else turn to me as Haley chased after her beloved Peyton. I couldn't meet any of them, for fear the tears filling my eyes would want to spill over. I grabbed my purse, a bottle of champagne, and slipped out the back entrance.

By force of will, I managed not to let those tears fall as I sat on the back porch, popping the cork on the bottle of champagne and then taking a deep, long pull. I took two more long drinks before I managed to find my phone in my purse. I should have called Lucas, maybe, to get some reassurance from him, but I found that his was not the number I wanted to dial.

The person I needed to talk to had once been my best friend, but that had changed when I had started dating Lucas. She had grown more distant, I think resenting me for getting what she had always wanted, and I had put all of my time into Lucas anyway. I realized that I had missed her, though, and if there was one person who had always been able to help me through things, it was Rachel.

To my surprise, she answered my call, and she even listened to me as I spilled what I was upset about. She let the silence linger after I had finished speaking, probably to punish me, but maybe because she was really considering what to say. "Brooke, are you sure that you're upset about Lucas maybe keeping secrets from you, or are you upset because Peyton humiliated you in front of everyone, after you had been trying to humiliate her?" she finally asked.

Affronted by the question, I didn't even consider it. I didn't know why people kept trying to tell me I wasn't in love with Lucas, but I was. He was the one for me, I was sure of it. Wasn't I? Her tone made me consider that maybe I was in love with the idea of him, and not the actual blond himself. I didn't let her know that though. "If you're not going to stand with me, you might as well be kissing the ground at Peyton's feet, slut," I slurred back.

There was a slow, even breath, and then she paused a moment. I think she might have been trying to control her temper. "Brooke, you whore, if you're not going to listen to the truth, I don't know why you called me. You wanted advice, here it is: If you really want Lucas, go fight for him, find out whatever truth Peyton was talking about, and decide if you can overcome it. If not, then give it up," she put it bluntly, in true Rachel-esque form.

Sniffling back the tears that suddenly couldn't seem to stop coming, I thanked her, and then just sat, drinking champagne as I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do. Was Lucas worth the fight, or would his heart never be in it? Would his heart always be waiting for Peyton, and was my heart really torn in this decision right now, or was I trying to make it into more than it was?

As I contemplated, I realized that I had run out of champagne. I was going to get up and leave, when I noticed Haley sitting next to me. I had not noticed her presence, and had to wonder how long she'd been sitting there. How much had I had to drink that I didn't even notice someone come up and sit beside me? I had been planning to go get more alcohol, but maybe this proved I had had enough.

Unperturbed by the fact that I hadn't noticed her until now, Haley decided that since I had finally seen her, she could say her piece. "Brooke, I thought we were just discussing this. You said you'd changed. I though you had. That woman in there seemed a lot like high school Brooke, and if she's going to be making appearances more often, let me know, so I can stop defending you to Peyton," she said.

This shocked me. She had gone after Peyton first to defend me? I never would have expected that. I didn't know what to say. I looked over at her, taking a moment to focus as the world stopped moving. "Haley, I am sorry, really. Lucas just makes me crazy, and Peyton is a huge inspiration of that craziness. I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't," I couldn't get any more words out through the tears.

(Lucas's POV)

The bachelor party was nice, I guess. Maybe I would have appreciated it more if I were still human. All the guys did basically was drink beer and play video games. I was the one who planned it, but I wasn't really enjoying myself. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I hadn't talked to Peyton in the whole week we had been in the same town. She had been spending all of her time with that Julian guy.

It was becoming too much for me. I couldn't just sit around and act like inconsequential things like this mattered to me anymore. I had changed so much since the last time I had really hung out with the guys, and though they joked about how much I had changed, I had changed in more ways than they could understand. I needed to get out. I made some excuse and left the party.

**A/N: **_Hmm, will Peyton have made it in time to catch Lucas before he runs off, or will she have missed him, and missed her chance to speak to him, again? What will Brooke decide of her relationship with Lucas? Will she go and ask him for the truth, and if she does, will he give it to her? Will there be the long-awaited-for Leyton interaction in the next chapter? I guess y'all will have to wait to find out. Leave plenty of reviews, and you'll find out sooner. Thanks to anyone who read the last chapter. I hope y'all are liking this fic._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill or Twilight._


	9. Chapter 9

(Lucas's POV)

Like every other night in the past week, I ended up at the Riverwalk, wanting to enter those trees, and see if the clearing was the same, if the memories were still as bright as they had been, or if all it brought was pain. I hadn't yet been able to enter those trees, though, and so I had spent every night just standing on the fringes, trying to work up the courage, until the sun rose, and I had to run back home to make it before Brooke woke up.

As I approached tonight, though, I knew I could put it off no longer. I had to see what it would do to me. I really needed to talk to Peyton, but I didn't want to interrupt the girls and their bachelorette party so here I was, once again. I stood outside for nearly twenty minutes, and I was just about to finally walk through the trees when a car pulled up above me and I heard footsteps coming down to where I was, beneath the bridge. Brooke came into my line of sight moments later.

Immediately I could tell she had been crying, and without even needing to look at her, I knew that something big had happened, and something even bigger was about to happen. I stayed where I was as she squinted in the darkness, making out my form. "How did I know you'd be here?" she scoffed. "Could it be maybe because you've been here ever night this week? What, do you not even sleep anymore, or do you plan on sleeping in the woods the rest of the trip?" she snarked.

Before I could open my mouth, she went on. "I can't do this anymore, Lucas. I can't live with the lies. I don't know what's the truth anymore, or what's not, but I can't wait for you to decide you love me enough to be honest with me, anymore. I thought I could wait forever for you, but if I'm the only one trying, then what's the point? Do you love Peyton, or not?" she cried, pausing for a moment.

My mouth worked, opening and closing, but I couldn't bring myself to make any noise. She shook her head slowly, and sunk down on a big boulder. I could see her heart was breaking, but I didn't know if I could stop it. I hated to cause that pain, but I didn't know the answer to that question anymore, and even if she forced me to come up with one, I was pretty sure she wouldn't like it. "Do you even love me at all, or was that just one of the many lies?" her big, wet brown eyes blinked up at me.

As the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were true. "Yes, Brooke, I really do. I know you may not believe it right now, but I do love you," I said firmly. If there was one thing I needed her to know, it was that. I hadn't just been using her to get away from my pain. I had really fallen for her. "What happened tonight? Can you tell me what's going on right now in your head?" I asked softly, approaching her cautiously, unsure of what to do or say. She was kind of freaking out, but it didn't seem to be directed entirely at me.

Taking a deep breath, she said nothing as I approached, but she did smile faintly as she heard the question. She had asked me that so many times before, it had become something of an inside joke between us. She stayed silent for a moment, seemingly gathering her thoughts, and I let her. "Peyton and I got into a kind of verbal fight tonight. I know most of it was just us bullshitting each other, trying to make the other one blink, but she said something that I think she really meant, and I don't like it," she said, her mind back in the fight.

Waiting for her to keep going, I wondered what Peyton said, but I knew if I brought up Peyton's name, or said anything right now, Brooke would only get angry, and it would do no good. I could tell she was pretty wasted, and Brooke had to do things in her own time, especially when she was drinking. "We were talking about the truth, and she said she knows the truth more than I do, and if I want the truth, I should ask you," she trailed off, still staring at nothing in particular.

Finally looking back at me, her eyes focused on mine, a lot more lucid than she had been moments ago, now that she had a purpose, something to focus on. She swallowed, as if bringing herself to do something she was scared to do. "I'm asking, Lucas, and I want the truth. What did she mean? What exactly is this big secret? You think I don't realize there's something off about us, but I do, and I'm tired of being lied to. Tell me the truth or we're done, right here and now," she said, and I knew she meant it.

Hesitating, I wondered if I could actually tell her everything. Could I be honest with her, the way she wanted me to be. If I told her, I could bring the wrath of the Volturi down on her. If I told her, I would probably end up having to change her sometime in the future, if she chose to love me anyway. If I didn't, though, it was over now. Did I really want forever with Brooke? Could I spend the rest of my existence with her?

Though those thoughts passed through my mind in a matter of seconds, it was too long for Brooke. She got up, pushing me away as she stumbled back the way she came, toward her car. "That's it, Lucas. If you decide you want to trust me enough to tell me, I'll be here for you, but I'm done working on a relationship that you're not 100% committed to. I'm going to stay in my old house. I hope you're very happy being a third wheel with Peyton and her new boyfriend," she was crying, wiping away her tears angrily.

Despite the fact that I knew I should follow Brooke, I couldn't move. I knew that she was right. If I didn't go after her, I had no other chances. I definitely had no chance with Peyton; as Brooke said, she'd already moved on. I just couldn't make myself go after Brooke when I knew that my heart would always belong to Peyton, and Brooke would never own anything but the small piece left behind. I couldn't do that to her, and I couldn't do that to myself, at least not while she was so drunk.

(Peyton's POV)

I only had to stand outside the bachelor party for a few moments before I knew he wasn't there. I could smell his distinctive vampire scent trailing away from the building. I took a few minutes, wondering if I actually wanted to follow it or not. I wasn't sure. I knew that I had to talk to him eventually, but was I ready for the pain that would probably nearly kill me-if I could die anyway-when we had to separate again. I just wasn't sure.

On the other hand, though, the idea of talking to Lucas again, hanging out with him, even if he had moved on, was too great an opportunity to pass up. Even if he only brought me brief joy while we spent this instant of time together throughout the whole rest of my existence I would cherish whatever he gave to me. I knew we were being forced together anyway, even if he might not want to be, so why not make the best of it? It was selfish, but I wasn't sure I could restrain myself any longer.

It took me some time to get there, because I put it off, trying to stop myself, but I couldn't help it. I knew it would haunt me forever if I let the whole next week go by and I hadn't said anything to him. If we let these two weeks go by without saying a word... Well, I didn't know if he could do it, but I'd never be able to live with myself if I didn't find out. I could have called Julian, but if I didn't do this now, I would always wonder, and suddenly the overwhelming urge to see him was outweighing any amount of pain it would later cause.

When I did start following his trail, it was still the middle of the night, but getting closer to morning, and I knew instinctively where his trail would lead as I followed it. I hadn't been able to go to the Riverwalk again. I didn't want to know he was able to go there, and I wasn't sure what would happen to me if I did go there. I didn't want to face the pain I knew it would bring. I could recall the memories easily enough without going to the actual place anyway.

As I approached the trees, I could smell that he was still here, and I took a moment to let those old memories wash over me. I could recall them like it was yesterday. I wondered if he had managed to hold onto the memories of us from when he was human; if he had even wanted to. I decided there was only one way to find out; only one way to find out what he was thinking, and if I was going to like the results of whatever was going to happen when I stepped through the trees.

Instead of dwelling on what could happen, I decided to just find out what was going to happen. I entered the clearing that I hadn't entered in such a long time, and I looked around, remembering the last time we had been here. Things had still been good, before I had left, and I glanced at the sky, remembering the sun, and wondering if we'd still be here when morning came. It was supposed to be a rare warm winter day tomorrow, and I had told Haley I would be busy, so I wondered I'd get to see him in the sunlight.

Those thoughts were in the back of my mind, though, because mostly I couldn't stop staring at Lucas. He had gotten to his feet, standing not twenty feet away from me, and I could see his golden eyes taking me in. I still couldn't hear his thoughts, and that frustrated me, but that, too, was in the back of my mind. I stared back at him, just as still, as we tried to figure out what the other was going to do. I couldn't help it anymore, though, I offered a tentative smile.

My heart had leapt at the sight of him, just as it always had, and just like that, I felt not partially healed, like Julian made me feel, but almost whole. I wouldn't be completely whole unless Lucas and I got back together, but it was like the ghost of who I used to be had returned, as tentative as my smile, as if testing out what it would be like to be returned to normal. It felt so great to feel even remotely normal, and I knew that no matter how much I wished it, Julian would never make me feel like this.

In that moment, though, came a certain clarity. I knew that, if there had been no Lucas, I could have been happy with Julian. Something that had been bothering me nearly all week, that I had never been able to put my finger on, suddenly became perfectly clear. I could see the life Julian and I could have had, if things had been different. It would have been nice, but there was a Lucas, and there was a hurt, and only Lucas would truly be able to fix it. I wished I hadn't figured that out.

No matter my feelings, I had left Lucas. I had left him so he could move on, and he did. He was with Brooke, and I had maybe screwed that up tonight, but that didn't mean I had to swoop in and try to screw things up for him. If he could really be happy with her, I didn't care if I couldn't live without him. I just wanted him to be happy. If he could do that without me, then it was my own fault, and I would have to accept the consequences.

Taking another step forward, I realized that it had been less than five seconds since I had first pushed through the trees. He was still completely still, and I had to still my mind, or I would drive myself crazy thinking of the worst. I would have to talk, and listen, and more importantly be honest. Maybe if he understood the reasons I left, he would be able to forgive me and we could be together again. He couldn't honestly believe I'd never loved him, right? How could he believe the one lie over the whole year of truths?

Opening my mouth to say something, I realized I had absolutely no idea where to start this conversation. What did one actually say to the love of their existence, when one had left said love two years ago, leaving nothing but a letter of lies behind, and then disappearing, only to reappear for a wedding of mutual friends, and then to make matters worse, spends the following week avoiding said love? I sighed instead, snapping my mouth closed.

Not looking like he was going to say anything at all, Lucas still hadn't moved. I knew it would be up to me to start this conversation, as it should be, really. I just didn't know what to say. Do I start with the heavy stuff, or do I try to play it like the whole past isn't as messy as it truly is, as if we're just two exes, who didn't change each other's lives forever, with no hope of things ever going back to the way they'd been before I'd moved to Tree Hill?

The possibilities sped through my mind, but I dismissed nearly every one of them as they came. It was quite ridiculous, really. Here I was, probably looking like an idiot in front of him, trying to think of the perfect thing to say, when he probably couldn't care less. I wished that wasn't true, of course, but it probably was. Even if he hadn't told Brooke the truth yet, that didn't mean he didn't plan on it. I knew as well as anyone how difficult it was to love a human.

That thought made me cringe away from pain that I knew didn't come only because I was looking into Lucas's eyes. I knew it would come later, though, when we separated again. It was inevitable; the pain and the upcoming separation. No matter how much I would like to believe he still loved me, it was ridiculous to think so. He had chosen her. He was with her. I knew that was why I'd reacted so badly earlier. She was right, and I'd never get another chance. I couldn't do things over. I had put myself in this situation.

Another question came to my mind, and I stopped my motions, every muscle in my body coming to a smooth, instantaneous stop. Would I do things the same way, if I had to go back and do it again? If I didn't know how things would turn out, yes, in a heartbeat, because at the time I honestly thought that I was doing what was best for him. If I could go back with the knowledge I have now, though, that he would end up getting changed anyway, and that everything would happen the way it did, I probably would have stayed.

No, probably isn't right. I definitely would have stayed, had I known what I know now. I am an entirely selfish creature, usually, except when it comes to what's best for Lucas. If I thought back then that he would still be vampire, and all leaving him would do was cause me pain, I would have stayed, without a doubt. Could I tell him this, though? If I told him, would it change anything? Did he even want to talk to me? Would he care to know my regrets, my pain? I just didn't know.

Still frozen, just as frozen as he was, except now there was a little less space between us, I tried to form words once again. I wasn't sure if trying to beat around the bush would be the right thing to do, or if it would just make things worse. The coward in me voted that I should try to feel him out first. Bringing up the past immediately would probably only succeed in making him shut down, instead of getting him to talk to me. I opened my mouth again.

(Lucas's POV)

When Brooke was gone, I moved into the clearing, trying once again to recall the memories of all the time I had spent here with Peyton. The memories were foggy at best, but the memories of her were the foggiest because I had spent so much time repressing them immediately after I was changed. Thinking of her hurt, but I didn't want to lose the memories. That would be the worst, because then it would be like she really hadn't existed, like she had promised.

Coming here made me realize how much I didn't want to forget her. I had thought that would make everything easier, but really, she was the sunshine in my life, the best part of it, and she always would be, no matter how much longer I lived. I had spent the past week thinking of nothing but her, trying to remember those times and what joy she'd brought to my life when she'd been in it. It was painful, but I knew eventually I would be happy that I had, when I could remember with fondness.

For now, though, it still hurt, and it made me wonder what would happen when the wedding came around and I would have to actually stand next to her as we walked down the aisle, Maid of Honor and Best Man, or when we had to dance together, or stand together as we each gave a speech about love. Would it bring nothing but pain, or would I actually be able to feel, to live again as she's forced to spend time in my presence?

Instinctively, I knew it would make me feel better than I had since she'd left. It would make going back to the life I'd tried to create all that much harder, but it would make my life, while she passed through once again, as bright as it'd ever been, or at least, if not as bright as when she'd been mine, it would be brighter than it had been in the two years since I'd seen her last. I would have to take that feeling, knowing it would be the last time I'd ever really feel good, and hold onto it, for the rest of my existence.

Of course, I'd have to go make up with Brooke. She was the only chance I had left at happiness. I'd never be truly completely happy, the way I would have been with Peyton, but Brooke was the closest to happiness I'd ever get. I think that if Peyton hadn't existed, if there were no such thing as vampires, Brooke and I would have ended up together anyway. I could see it, actually, the whole life of ours, playing out like it was a movie, a love story, I guess one could call it.

In high school, eventually Nathan and Brooke would have ended up breaking up over something, because he and Haley were definitely made for each other, and Brooke and I probably would have ended up at the same college, or maybe we each would have moved back here after college, more mature and evolved than we had been the first time around, and we would have started dating then we'd marry, and have kids, and we both would have been completely happy. I never would have known about any other life.

The whole thing played out in my mind, my whole life with Brooke, what could have been. We would have had probably two kids, a little boy, who would have been exactly like me, a broody teenager with a love for literature and basketball, and we would have had a girl, just like Brooke. Her older brother would have definitely been her protector. I could see it, and we would have grown old together, happy, and I could see us spoiling our grandchildren together.

All of it passed before my eyes. There was one huge problem, though: There was a Peyton. Peyton did exist, and I had met her, and she had changed my life, in more ways than one, and so Brooke and I would never be able to have that life that I had pictured. We'd be lucky if we lasted at all now, much less had kids. It was nice, knowing we could have made it, but it actually made me feel worse, because I knew I would eventually hurt Brooke.

Even if I could never be with Peyton again, I couldn't stay with Brooke forever. She deserved to find happiness with someone else, someone who could give her kids, who she could grow old with. I would tell her the truth, definitely, and maybe I'd just let her choose. If she wanted the life I could give her, then I'd give it to her the best way I could, but if she didn't want it, then I'd accept that, and let her go. I'd lose my last chance at any kind of happiness, but Brooke deserved better than I could give her, if she wanted it.

So lost in my thoughts, I almost missed the sound of footsteps approaching. I managed to get to my feet, though, in time for the scent to hit me. I knew who it was, even though I hadn't really gotten a chance to smell this scent with my new sense of smell. I would know it anywhere, even if it was from my dim human memory. I froze as, just as I'd known, Peyton pushed her way through the trees. She stopped for a moment when she saw me standing.

It was only instantaneous, and a few instants later, she broke into a smile. It was faint, but it was the one I'd once thought she reserved just for me. I didn't want to know if she'd given it to anyone else, though. I prefer to think it was only for me, because that gives me more peace of mind. I needed to believe I'd meant something to her, even if her letter proved I didn't. She started coming toward me again, and I didn't know what to think.

Waiting for her to speak, I stood frozen and watched as she froze only a few steps later. We were less than twenty feet apart, but all I could think of was how beautiful she was. My new eyes could see her much better than my poor human vision. I could see now just how perfectly flawless her beauty was, and it amazed me even more than it had when I was human. I could have stood for hours and stared at her.

She opened her mouth, and snapped it closed once, and I just knew she was trying to figure out what to say. I didn't help her figure it out. I was perfectly content to stare at her while she tried to figure it out. I hoped she never did. Looking at the sky, I realized there were a few hours before dawn, before the rare, sunny winter day. I wondered if we would still be here, together. I would love to examine her flawless beauty in the sunlight with my new vision.

Not five minutes had passed since she first passed through the trees. It was probably more like two, but I was so lost in staring at her, I didn't notice time. It could have been five seconds or five years. It wouldn't have been enough time. I knew I was completely frozen, and she was probably wondering what I was thinking. That made me wonder if she could hear my thoughts, now that I was like her. Her mouth opened again before I could really begin to consider that. "I'm sorry," she said.

**A/N: **_Well, not much has happened, but I thought I'd leave you guys in suspense a little longer before the pace picks up. I think this will probably be the shortest fic I write, at least according to number of chapters. I just got a review the other day that said all my fics are the same, so I'm going to try to end the things I'm working on now, the best way I can while not compromising the stories, and work on something completely different. I hope y'all liked the chapter. I enjoy writing this, but if no one really enjoys reading it, then I'd feel better writing something else. I don't feel right leaving anything unfinished, though. So I guess we shall see._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	10. Chapter 10

(Peyton's POV)

'_I'm sorry.' There are so many things to say, and that's the best I can think of? What the hell? _I thought, but even though my mouth hung open, I could not think of one more word. What was I supposed to say to him? What would make this better? I closed my mouth, then opened it again, but still, I could think of nothing, except how ticked off I was at myself for standing here like an idiot.

A grin crossed over his face, and I lost all trains of thought. He was so gorgeous. He always had been, of course, but now it was even more pronounced. I wanted to close the distance between us and kiss him for hours, since neither of us needed air. I wanted to show him just how good it could be to be intimate when we were both immortal. I still didn't know what he was thinking, though, so I stayed put.

Just as I wanted to turn and run away, he opened his mouth, and I held my unnecessary breath, waiting for the perfection I knew his voice would be. He actually laughed, a real laugh, that I wasn't sure I would have been capable of just yesterday. I wasn't so sure about now. I could almost feel myself healing, just being in his presence. "You look like a fish out of water. Opening and closing your mouth," his words came out at a quiet murmur, which I heard perfectly, even from across the clearing.

Suddenly, I could handle it no longer. I felt myself losing control of my muscles, and in a heartbeat-which is an ironic way to measure time, considering neither of us actually had one-I was standing in front of him, looking into his golden eyes. I can't be sure who initiated the hug, but in the next instant, his arms were wrapped around me in a perfect Lucas hug and my face was buried into his now granite hard chest.

Taking in a deep breath, trying to imprint his new scent in my mind, wondering when he would gather his senses and push me away, I kept my arms tight around him, knowing I would let go as soon as he wanted me to. I felt a sob wrack my shoulders, and wondered where that had come from. I would be crying if I could be, and I wasn't even sure why. How strange. I supposed they would be tears of joy.

His arms tightened around me, although I hadn't thought he could grip me any tighter, and I heard his own intake of breath, as if he was also trying to memorize me scent, and he too was wondering when this was going to end. I wondered how long he would put up with me. He had to hate me now, that had been the point of my letter. I had been hoping he would. Now I wished I had never written it.

Of course, I had only been wishing that since about two minutes after I had written it, and that feeling had doubled once I had left it where he would find it, but I can't change what happened. If I could, I really would, especially knowing that he had been changed anyway. With that thought, I pulled my head back and looked at his eyes, remembering the blue they used to be. I felt another dry sob wrack my shoulders.

His fingers snaked around, lifting my chin so I couldn't avert my gaze. His fingers felt evenly matched finally, and I didn't feel like I would break him if I tried to hold his hand. Or do more. She wanted to test that theory, but she knew that it wouldn't be well-received. She forced herself to focus on the moment instead, and she watched his lips move. "Sorry for what?" he asked, his voice still a whisper.

Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she replayed the sound of his voice in her head again and again. She wanted to be able to replay it when he finally came to his senses and left her like she deserved, and she was pulled back into the pain like she knew would happen. She opened her eyes when she remembered he wanted an answer.

Swallowing, she realized they were still wrapped in each other's arms, and she hoped he never realized that, because she had never felt more whole than she did in this moment. "I, um, well, I'm sorry for everything, I guess. I mean, I'm definitely sorry for the way things ended, and I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise. I'm just sorry," she said after a moment.

For a moment he didn't say anything, and I couldn't help but imagine kissing him. His arms were still around me, and since he was still relatively new born, even if his eyes had already changed colors, I couldn't have pulled away if I wanted to. Not that I wanted to. There was no way I was letting him go until he let me go. "Really?" he gaze bore into mine golden and beautiful.

Under his intense stare, which hadn't changed, despite the change in eye color, I felt a chill run up and down my spine. I knew he could feel my shudder, and I wondered if he knew why I was shuddering. He pulled away in the next second, so I was pretty sure he didn't, but I didn't feel like voicing the correction. Not yet. Not until I knew whether or not he still loved me.

Before I could blink he was across the clearing, sitting amongst the trees, and I felt the hole creeping up on me again. The pain would be soon after, I knew. He had rejected me, I was sure, and in that moment, I felt every ounce of pain I'd felt begin to come rushing back, like the tide was threatening to engulf me completely.

Still, I stayed where I was, nodding, and I would answer his question, because there was still an inquiry in his gaze. "Well, yeah. That was seriously the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I hated myself for doing it, but I thought it was best for you at the time," I couldn't help the bitter laugh that was trying to hide the pain. "I guess it ended up not mattering anyway. I'm sorry you're stuck like this, anyway," I said.

(Lucas' POV)

It had been an unconscious reaction to pull her into my arms. It was a moment of weakness and I had been unable to resist, especially when she hadn't pushed me away immediately. I had been able to allow myself the illusion that she actually didn't hate me. I had seen the pain in her gaze as she apologized, and I figured she hated the closeness, but didn't want to offend me.

So I had taken myself as far away from her as possible, and was surprised by what she said after. It was the hardest thing she had to do? Why had it been so hard for her? I understood the bitter laugh, because now she was stuck with her mistake for the whole of eternity, but I didn't know why she apologized to me, because it had sounded sincere.

That was what had me truly confused. I tried to work it out in my mind, and I could see the self-control she had to exercise to stay in her spot, but for some reason I just couldn't let this go. I deduced that she had to be feeling guilty, but it wasn't her fault. "Don't," I said, cutting myself off so I could regain control of my voice. "Don't feel sorry. It wasn't your fault," that was all I could manage.

For a moment she froze completely, and I knew from experience that she was thinking, considering what I said, and trying to figure out what I meant. I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind, and I wanted to be close to her, to brush her hair out of her face and leave a linger kiss on her lips, whisper to her 'Stop thinking,' like I used to.

Just thinking about doing that, I almost did. In fact, I was standing in front of her again before I had stopped myself, and I almost reached out and touched her, but I managed to keep my hand at my side. She took in a shaky breath, and I wondered if she was remembering those moments too, but I couldn't ask. I couldn't stand it if she wasn't.

Looking like she was in pain, I saw understanding alight in her golden eyes. I think it was understanding, anyway. I couldn't be sure after it had been so long since we'd really known each other. I couldn't be sure I'd ever really known her, anyway. She lifted the corners of her mouth in what was supposed to be a small smile, but wasn't real. "It's not that easy," she said sadly.

Tilting my head, I looked back at her, wondering what exactly she was talking about. Before I could even consider a response, though, she seemed to realize it was a little confusing, because she opened her mouth again to continue. "Lucas, you can't tell me not to feel bad, because I do. I left because I truly thought it would be better for you if I did. I didn't want to. I thought I had to," she said intensely.

It would be wonderful to believe that was true, but it wasn't. It couldn't be. Her letter had said… I let that thought trail off, unable to deal with the pain that would come with it. I focused on the moment, because I could see her now, with me, even if it would never be in the way I wanted it, and I didn't want the moment tainted by the pain of the past.

What she said just wouldn't stop buzzing around in my mind, though. I just couldn't leave it at that, as much as I wanted to. I understand why she thinks so much, now. There is just so much room in my mind now, it's impossible not to fill it with thoughts. I opened my mouth, trying to hope that this wouldn't sound needy and full of pain. "But you said, in your letter," I couldn't choke out the words.

Luckily, she seemed to get what I meant. She immediately raised her eyebrows in disbelief, and after a moment of shocked silence, she started laughing, but she tried to cover it up with a cough, which we both knew was ridiculous. "You believed that? How can you believe the lie, but not the truth? Honestly, I thought that letter would never fool you," she murmured, mostly to herself, but I heard, of course.

Unable to think of anything to say to that, I just stared at her, wondering if it could really be the truth. Was the letter really the lie, and everything else the truth? She had seemed sincere in her feelings all year, even if she'd been confusing in the beginning. So why did it really have to be that she had been lying all that time? Maybe because that made it easier to believe she could just leave like that.

No, I can't let myself go down that train of thought right now. If I let myself begin to think that, then I won't be able to let her go when she wants to. I know she'll want to leave again. I can't count on her hanging around for any amount of time. I'll just have to try to be her friend now, while she'll let me, and maybe we can talk about some of the bigger things, before she leaves again.

With a sigh, I collapsed on the ground, pulling my knees up and resting my head on them, not because I needed to sit, but I wanted to be able to hide my face from her. I wanted to do nothing more than stare at her, but I didn't want her to be able to stare at me, too, because I didn't want her to see what I was feeling. She used to be good at that. Or at least I'd thought she'd been. I wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Without making a sound, she was suddenly in front of me. I could sense her presence as she reached out, and I looked up, her face was inches from mine, as she kneeled. I wanted to reach out and kiss her, but I was able to resist the urge, barely, by remembering the pain. If I focused on enough of that, I could pretend I wasn't still in love with her.

Biting on her lip, she looked like she wanted to ask me what was wrong, but she was afraid of the answer. I shook my head. I didn't want to go into it now. Well, I wanted to talk about it, but I couldn't. I needed to, but at the same time, I needed to avoid the talk. I placed my hand on hers, which was resting on my arm, reveling in the feel, her skin which was now not hard and cold, but the same texture as mine.

Her eyes slipped closed, as if she was reveling in the moment as much as I was, but I didn't want to disillusion myself, even as a part of me felt like I was falling even deeper in love every moment I was still in her presence. I smiled at her when her eyes opened, and she sent me a half-smile back, the one I wanted to believe was just for me.

Before I made a conscious choice to lie down, I was on my back, laying in the field like we used to, and she was laying next to me, and we weren't as close as we used to lay, but our arms and legs were barely touching, so she was close enough to drive me crazy. I looked up at what stars we could see from between the trees, and I realized that it had been less than an hour, but it was probably about an hour or so from dawn. Would we still be here then?

To be honest, I'd give anything to see her again in the sunlight, with my new senses. I could remember what she looked like, but those were my dim, human memories, and they weren't as clear as they could have been, because I'd tried to suppress them so much before I was even changed into a vampire. It had been a fine line, between being scared to remember, but hating to forget, and I'd fallen in the former category for a long time.

There was silence for a long time, an I'd give anything to be able to reach out, and link our fingers, like we used to, or even just our pinkies, anything, if I knew I wouldn't be rejected, but I knew that was impossible, and I couldn't really survive anymore direct rejection from her. I needed to stay in safe territory. "So," I finally broke the silence, "At least the weather is supposed to be good for the wedding, right," I tried.

A laugh burbled up, but she managed to keep it from coming out. She looked over at me, one eyebrow cocked. "You're seriously talking about the weather?" she asked, then she seemed to wince, but I had a feeling it wasn't at anything I did. "Of course you are," she murmured, to herself, bringing her gaze up to meet mine. "I'm glad they're still together," she changed the subject from the weather.

Not sure what to say, really, I just nodded. "Yeah, some couples aren't that lucky, but I'm sure they're going to last forever. I just wish I wouldn't have to disappear out of their lives," I cut myself off with a wince, and knew instantly that wasn't the right thing to say. I wish I could take back the words as I saw her move away, but they hung in the air between us.

As she stood among the trees on the opposite side of the clearing, her phone started ringing, and I saw her internal battle as she tried to decide whether or not to answer. I looked up at the sky, and noticed the first rays of the early dawn light would be coming through the trees soon. I tried to ignore the fact that I had just completely ruined the time she had been willing to give me.

After what seemed like an eternity, her phone stopped ringing, but a few seconds later, it chirped, letting her know she had a voicemail. She flipped it open, and in the surrounding silence, the sound of her pressing buttons sounded way louder than it should have. I heard the sound of a male voice perfectly through the phone, and when she slammed it closed, I had to resist the urge to wince.

For a few seconds, I couldn't look up at her. I wished she would stay here with me, but I knew that wouldn't happen. This Julian who, from what Haley implies, is her boyfriend, asked her to meet him, so why would she hang around with me. I looked up finally to see her eyes looking at the sky, before her gaze met mine, and I had to force myself to stay still.

Swallowing, she glanced back up at the sky, which wasn't quite bright enough yet to allow either of us to be hit by the rays of sunlight. I could see the regret in her gaze, and I wonder what she was regretting exactly. It didn't make much sense, but then, she never had, really. "I, um, I have to go. I'll see you around," she bit on her lip, hesitating.

Instead of trying to speak around the lump in my throat, I lifted a hand in a wave, which probably seemed more like a dismissal, but I just couldn't say anything. I was feeling the sting of rejection even more than I thought I would. I should have known that she would be leaving, but a part of me had hoped she would stay so we could talk.

Trying not to look at her, I laid back on the ground. I heard her stand there for a few moments, and I rested my forearm over my eyes, trying to control the pain that had never really been controllable. I wished she would just leave me to wallow in my pain in peace. It took another minute or two, but eventually she did.

**A/N: **_Hey, aren't you all a lucky group. You get to read the next chapter of this fic, because my muse for this one was working with me. What did you think of the interaction between Lucas and Peyton? I knew it would end up being angst-filled, just because they are. I got a new fan for this fic in between the last chapter and this one, so I just wanted to say a special thanks to that person. I'd say I'm going to try to update more often, but I really just don't have the time now, what with graduation and then moving to another state, so when I get settled, I promise I'll try to get back into writing again. Until then expect updates to be way irregular. I hope anyone still reading continues to read when I can get updates posted._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	11. Chapter 11

(Peyton's POV)

As I walked away from the clearing, I felt my heart breaking, all over again. I knew he had heard the message Julian had left, and I knew he knew where I was going, but he had just dismissed me, as if he couldn't care less. I knew it shouldn't hurt, because what reason had I given him to care anymore, but for a moment, I just stood there, staring at his form lying there. I couldn't take that long though, so I turned and disappeared through the trees, feeling the need to cry burning at my eyes. I waited until I had gotten far enough away from Lucas that I wasn't in his earshot before I stopped running and crashed my fist into a tree.

The minor breakdown didn't do much to stop the pain, so I did the only thing that would take it away. Well, the other thing. The thing that would take it away for good was back in the clearing I had just left and I knew that, but the thing that would take it away for now was the person I was on my way to meet. I couldn't go back to Lucas right now, not without doing something I was sure I would regret later, but Julian would hold the pain at bay while I tried to figure things out. I can't keep going like this anymore, I know, but I have no idea what my next step will be.

On the one hand, I know that Julian is willing to be my friend, at least, for a long time, but one day he could imprint, and then I would be screwed, with nothing at all to keep me from succumbing to the pain that would undoubtedly engulf me. I knew that if that did happen, I would most definitely take myself to the Volturi, and find some way to get them to end it all for me. I would do my best not to alert anyone to this plan, but on the off chance they figured it out, then I would say my goodbyes, but I would not let them talk me out of it.

There is no life for me without Lucas. I've known that since he walked into my life and changed everything for me. He changed me so completely, and without him, I can't go back to living that way. It's like trying to live without my organs. He was the one thing that made me feel human in a way that I didn't feel human ever before. My family made me feel loved, and like a person, but I've always known there was a part of me that was a monster that I had to keep under my complete control. Lucas-seeing him in person, talking to him, made it a lot easier to think his name-made me feel like there was still humanity in me, like I'm not only a monster. I can't go back to not feeling that.

Then there's the pain. It's so crippling without him, that I won't be able to bear it much longer. I may be strong, according to some of my family members and Haley, who, really, is my only friend, but there is only so much of that pain I can take. I always knew it wouldn't be easy leaving him, but this is more than I can handle, and there's really no point for me to continue handling it, really. I will stand it as long as I have Julian to take some of it away, but once that's gone, I will be too. I push that from my mind, so it doesn't form into a plan that Alice can see a vision of, and focus instead on the present.

A few moments later, I find Julian, who is loping through the woods as a panther. I act on a whim and playfully tackle him, because I knew from his thoughts that he already knew I was there, and we wrestled around for a while. I was feeling buoyant because, with thoughts of Lucas pushed firmly out of my head, and my painkiller at my side, I was fairly pain free, which was as much as I could ask for anymore. I hadn't expected to find something that would take away my pain, but I had, for the most part, and I knew it was merely like a generic brand compared to the real thing, it was as close to pain free as I would ever get.

Pinning me down with his large leopard paws, I just lay on the ground, listening to his thoughts as he laid on me. It wasn't discomforting in the least, considering how different our sizes were. I did have a brief moment of relapse where I wished it was Lucas lying on me instead of Julian, but I quickly locked the blonde back out of my brain and focused instead on the present. I could easily throw him off, but for a moment I had a strange feeling, and I realized this was a position that many couples found themselves in all the time.

Sure, we were the most abnormal couple that anyone could ever come across, and we weren't even a couple, but that was besides the point. I looked up into his dark eyes, which still held his personality despite the fact that he was in his panther form, and I heard where his thoughts were going with this, but for a moment I just didn't care. I wanted to want to kiss him. I wanted the feeling of love that is greater than anything else on the planet, and I wanted just a simple kiss, a touching of two sets of lips, which incites feelings that nothing else can incite.

Then my mind recalled the time Lucas had pinned me down, just like this, leaning down to give me a kiss just the way that Julian was now, and I knew that a simple kiss from just anyone wouldn't do. It would have to be him, and only he could give me the feelings I wanted. I didn't want to possibly ruin any chance I had at keeping Julian as a friend, but I didn't really want to kiss him right now, either. I was trying to find some way to nicely get out of kissing him, when a sudden rustling through the trees in the distance put both our guards up.

He jumped off me and I rolled onto my knees, into a crouching position as I listened for thoughts and took in a deep breath so I could smell whatever it was that was coming this way. I smiled and stood to my feet, but Julian still didn't know who it was, and he relaxed slightly because I relaxed, but he didn't put down his guard all the way. He watched the trees where they were going to come through and while he wasn't tense, he was clearly ready to defend himself if anything should go wrong. I laughed, just as Renesmee entered the clearing, followed almost immediately by a giant wolf.

(Renesmee's POV)

For a moment, I forgot what we had been headed for, as I beat Jacob in the race we had been having. I turned towards him. "I totally won, and if you even try to pretend you let me win, I'm not buying it at all, so don't even try. You so owe me," I gloated, sending him a look, reaching out and touching his snout, sending him the images of how he was going to repay me though my thoughts, and forgetting who was in the clearing until she started protesting.

Hearing the groan from behind me I spun, as Peyton started talking. "Please, Ness, remember that I prefer to remain in the dark about your sexual escapades. I really don't want to see any of that, and that was just way uncalled for," she grimaced, glancing at the sleek, giant panther next to her. "This is Renesmee, and she has the lovely gift of being able to place her thoughts into other peoples minds when touching them. It comes with images. That is all I will say," she shuddered, but then looked back at me, a smile forming on her face as she held her arms open.

I ran over and jumped into them, giving her a tight hug. I hadn't gotten much of a chance to see her, much less talk to her when she had shown up a week ago. I knew my mom had gotten to talk to her, and I knew she was back in Tree Hill, with this shape-shifter, so I had decided to visit her, and Jacob had really wanted to talk to another shape-shifter, get to know how he came to be this way, and the like, so here we are. I used my contact to show her that, and she nodded as she pulled away. "I don't have anything to do today. If you guys would mind changing into your human forms, I don't really want to be a translator all day," she said, looking between Jacob and the panther.

After staring each other down for a moment, as if trying to decide if the other was a threat, the two males turned and headed into the trees in different directions. Peyton, staring after them, must have heard their thoughts, because she started chuckling, shaking her head slightly. "They are such guys," she murmured in explanation to me, and then waited for the guys to reappear, dressed, in their human forms. "Well, you guys are both curious, I know, so go ahead and get to chatting. Nessie and I are going to have a chat of our own. We won't go far," she said, because it had looked like both of them were going to protest.

Sending Jacob a look, I shrugged and followed her away, leaving them together. I really did want a chance to talk to Peyton anyway. She had told me way back when she had moved to Tree Hill in the first place that she wouldn't disappear from our lives again, and that was what she had done when she had left Lucas. I forgot, as I often do, that she had the same gift as my dad, and could hear my every thought, so it surprised me when she pulled me to a stop and looked at me guiltily. "I'm sorry, Ness. I know, I said I wouldn't do that again, but you don't understand. It's so hard, just functioning without him. It's even harder being around all of you, who are happy with your soul mates," she broke off, looking away.

Clenching her teeth as she turned back to look at me, I could tell that she was fighting back pain, just talking about it. "I'm going to try, Ness, but that's all I can promise. I don't know what is going to happen when I leave Tree Hill again. I just know that for some reason, having Julian in my life keeps the pain that has been drowning me since I walked away from Lucas bearable, so I can almost feel normal. I can't say whether or not that's going to last, or if anything will come between me and Julian. I can't even say if I would get back with Lucas. I just know I'm going to take this week one day at a time, and see where I am at the end of it," she said, swallowing harshly and closing her eyes for a brief moment as she finished speaking.

Pulling her into a hug, I rubbed her back. "I'm sorry, Peyton," I said, because I didn't realize how much pain it would cause her just to say all that. I changed the subject, and we talked for a little while, but I could tell the pain was still bothering her, so we went back to the guys, and she was immediately at Julian's side, while I sat next to Jacob, taking his hand and lacing our fingers together. Peyton didn't touch Julian, but I could tell immediately that she felt a relief from the pain she had been feeling. I understood then what was going to happen, and I hoped that either she and Lucas could figure it out, before Julian got hurt in the process, like Jacob almost had been by my mother.

(Brooke's POV)

I woke up with a splitting headache, and briefly wondered what had caused the hangover-one to rival any I'd had in high school, and a feeling I hadn't experienced since then, practically-before the event of the previous night washed over me, albeit, a little fuzzy. I could still gather the gist of it, though, and I wondered when I would see Lucas again, if I would see him again. I didn't have to wonder long, before I heard footsteps and Lucas entered the room, carrying a glass of water and two pills, which he placed into my hand.

Sitting up, I eyed him wearily as I swallowed the pills, wondering what he was here to say. "Brooke, I don't know how much of last night you remember, but you asked for the truth, and I'm going to give it to you, but you can't tell anyone, not that anyone would believe you if you did," he paused, running his hand over the back of his neck. "I really don't know where to start, except for the beginning of our senior year, when Peyton moved to Tree Hill. I noticed some weird things about her, and well, it turns out she was a vampire," he paused and looked up at me. "I'm a vampire too, Brooke," he waited for my reaction.

I had absolutely no idea what to think. I just sat in shock, then moaned at the pain this was causing my head. I wasn't sure this was the best time for him to finally be telling me the truth, if this was the truth. It seemed way to unbelievable, but then again, why would he make up something this crazy? "I'm sure this is too much for you to take right now. If you decide you believe me, and still want to know more, you know where to find me. If you decide you don't believe me, or you want nothing more to do with me, I'll respect that, but know this, Brooke. I meant it when I said I love you," he walked over, leaned down and kissed my head, and then turned and left the house.

Sitting in shock, I tried to contemplate this. Lucas Scott, a vampire? Peyton, the bitch who ruined our relationship, ruined his whole life too? How would this ever possibly work? I had no idea if it could, or if I even wanted to try. I knew from the way he had kissed me before he left, and his last words, that he did still love me, and wanted to work this out. Did I? I had absolutely no idea. I needed answers, because there were way too many questions going on in my head. I also needed sleep, though, so I drained the water glass, set it down on my night stand, and laid back in bed, pulling the blanket over my head to block out the light filtering in through my bedroom window.

(Lucas's POV)

After leaving Brooke's house, I just walked around the town. I wasn't sure what she was going to do, but I knew she would need time, first to sleep off her hangover, and then time to think over that bomb I had just dropped. I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision, telling her, but after Peyton had left the clearing to go be with Julian, I had thought it over, and realized I had no other choice. She had obviously chosen Julian, so I had to give it my best attempt at happiness that I could find. She obviously didn't need me to be happy, so that should help me move on, right? I only wished that it could, that anything could.

I decided to go back to Nathan and Haley's because I was sure that Haley was probably worried. I was right, and when I walked in the door, she was immediately rushing over, asking me all these questions. I answered them as they came and then patiently waited for her to run out of questions to ask. "I'm tired, Hales. Brooke is at her apartment sleeping off her hangover. Peyton is somewhere with Julian. I'm ready to sleep some," I lied, noticed that she had an aspirin bottle on hand too. "Shouldn't you be resting that brain of yours to get rid of the hangover I'm sure you have too?" I teased, just to make sure she would leave me alone, and then went into the guest bedroom I had been staying in.

Grabbing my duffel bag, I began digging through it, until I found the item I was looking for. I wasn't sure why I wanted to do this. It would only be torture, and I knew that it would bring pain, but something made me pick it up and my mind went back to that day. I had still been human at the time, but I remembered finding this, and exactly what it had done to me, what it still did to me. I could recall each word with perfect clarity, in the exact order they were written, but I still unfolded the letter and looked over the words, in her hand writing, with her voice ringing them in my ears. _Dear Lucas, _it began.

_I'm so sorry for what I have done to you. I didn't realize when moving to Tree Hill that this would happen, or I never would have done this to you. It's time for me to move on, though. You have a long, human life ahead of you, and I can spend no more time hanging around you. My kind can only stay in one place for so long before we have to move on. Don't try to find me, and don't worry, you will get over this. I am sorry you got so attached, but you're human. You'll find someone new, and you'll forget I ever existed. I promise this. One day you'll forget all about me, and you'll never think of me again. It will be easy for you, because, I promise, you won't see me ever again, and you won't have anything of mine to remind you of me. I will remember you fondly, but I just can't stay here anymore. I once again repeat, I am sorry for doing this to you. Before I end this letter I will make you another promise. I will not affect another human's life like this. It gets too messy if I get too deeply involved. I only ask one thing of you. Promise me that you'll make something of your life, and live it to the fullest. Don't do anything stupid to risk your life, but don't have any regrets either. Well, I guess that's it. Please, do your best to forget about me, and move on. I already regret affecting you as much as I have. Sincerely, Peyton._

For some reason, I had never been able to destroy it. It hurt me every time I thought of it, but it was also from her, and, like she had said, the only thing I had left of her. She had been thorough when she had taken her things. I couldn't understand how she have thought she could keep those promises, or how she could apologize for it now. What had she meant by that? Could these words be the lie? She had never actually said that earlier, but she had implied it. I laid in the bed and thought about our interaction today. I had no idea what to make of any of it. I had never been able to understand her. I wondered if she would ever let me.

**A/N: **_It's been a long time, but a lot of things have been going on in my life, and I've had some major writers block. I apologize for that, and I hope I can get back into writing again. I hope there are people still reading this, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter if you all. Please, review if your still reading, or still interested. Next chapter will include Brooke's decision, and a twist that I don't think any of you will expect. Thanks for all the reviews I have received already._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	12. Chapter 12

(Peyton's POV)

Looking around the room, I tried to keep my gaze from landing on him, but it's impossible to just ignore him, when he's right there. I watched as he talked to his family, and he seemed so at ease on the outside, but I could see his discomfort, although I was sure no one else could. I wanted to go over there, rub his back, whisper something in his ear, but I couldn't, because it wasn't my place to. I briefly wondered where Brooke was, and why she wasn't here to stand by his side, but I couldn't think of that for long, because I knew it was my fault she wasn't.

Bringing me out of my thoughts, Julian tapped on my arm, telling me he was going to go to the bathroom, and he'd be right back. I turned and smiled at him, sure that I could handle a few moments without him, and he got up and walked away. I kept my gaze off the area of the room where the blond was, because I knew I couldn't look at him without Julian at my side. I focused instead on watching the bride-to-be, who was standing with her beau, and her parents and soon-to-be in-laws. She was thinking that it was going better than she had expected, and I could hear that everyone was actually having a nice time.

I watched as she walked away to get something to drink and I started to approach her, but then I saw Brooke come into the room, and I froze. I watched her approach Lucas, tell him that she needed to talk to him, and then the two of them left the room. His eyes met mine for a brief moment and I couldn't see what he was trying to tell me, if it was anything at all. I wished more than ever before that I could hear his thoughts. I knew he would walk far enough away that I wouldn't be able to eavesdrop, and he would hear if I followed, so I moved to the window.

Luckily, he was still in my sight, even though they had walked far enough away that I couldn't hear. I had forgotten that Julian was just going to be gone for a few moments. I had forgotten everything except that Lucas was talking to Brooke; he was going to tell her the truth. This was it. The only possibility that I could get him back, flying out the window. I tried to tell myself that maybe they wouldn't stay together, but when I saw him bring out the ring, I knew it was over. The only thing I could do now was to get out of here, find some place where I can be alone for a while.

(Lucas's POV)

Knowing that Peyton was watching me made me feel a mix of emotions. I was mostly confused though. Why was she watching me? What could the reason possibly be? I couldn't figure her out. She had said she was sorry for what she had done, but why was she sorry for it? Why did she keep watching me now? I wished I knew the answers to any of these questions, but it wasn't like I was going to go and ask her when she was constantly accompanied by that dumb cat. I noticed when he walked away from her, and I saw her walking across the room towards Haley. I was planning on heading her off, so we could talk, but then Brooke came in.

She approached me, and asked to talk. I had told her I would tell her whatever she wanted to know, so I didn't have much choice but to follow her. I glanced at Peyton as I followed Brooke out, for the first time today meeting her eyes, and I wanted her to show any type of reaction; jealousy, regret, anything, but there was nothing there. She always had been so good at keeping her emotions locked away. I couldn't hold her gaze long, though, as I left with Brooke, walking her far enough away that Peyton wouldn't be able to hear our conversation, or Brooke's thoughts.

I stuck my hands in my pockets as I waited for her to ask her questions. She just stared at me, and I knew she was going to let me talk. "So you want the whole story?" I asked her and she nodded. "Well, like I said, when I met Peyton, I knew there was something strange about her. She didn't tell me easily, didn't want to tell me at all, but, eventually I convinced her. Well," I corrected with a brief chuckle, "I kind of figured it out on my own, and forced her to confirm it. It took me a while though, and she was still reluctant to let me in, even when I figured it out. She always thought she was putting me in danger, or that I would hate her, but I had realized when I had figured out what she was, that I just wouldn't be able to live without her, danger or not," I cut myself off, trying to focus on the conversation now, and not the past.

Of course, Brooke wouldn't want to hear any of that part. I met her gaze again, reaching up and pulling out my contacts, which were getting ready to dissolve anyway. "I don't harm humans, as you've probably noticed, since you're still alive. I hunt only animals. The golden color of my eyes reflects that. Anyway, I wasn't a vampire when Peyton left. She never wanted that for me, so don't blame her," I added, because I could tell by the look in Brooke's eyes that that was what she was doing. I shook my head, as that had connected another thought in my mind. What if she had been doing what she had thought was right for me, and the letter really was a lie?

Focusing my eyes on Brooke I could see she wasn't completely convinced by my last statement. "She never wanted to change me. She wanted me to stay human. She was long gone by the time I was changed, and she didn't know about it until I saw her in the airport when we both came back to Tree Hill," I said forcefully and she was a little more convinced. "I really don't know why she left anymore, but I know that seeing her again should have nothing to do with us. I really do love you, Brooke, and you make me happy in a way I never thought I would be again, after she left," I said, not exactly telling the whole truth, but it was the truth, pretty much.

Knowing she needed to hear more, I went deeper into the story, leaving out Peyton for the most part, but telling her of how I got changed, and what I could do, and stuff like that. "Brooke, I know this is a lot to take in, and a lot to live with, and I'll never be able to give you a normal human life. I'll never be able to grow old with you, or give you children, not without putting your life at risk, but if you do choose to stay with me, I promise to give you the best life I can, for as long as you want me around," I finished, recalling another thing Peyton had once told me. She'd be around as long as I needed her. Did she really think I didn't need her anymore? I couldn't think about that, not now.

Staring at me, I could tell that Brooke was seeing something in my eyes that she didn't want to see. "Lucas, I have no doubt that we could have been happy together. We could have had it all, two kids, a nice house, a dog, the white picket fence and everything, but all that changed when Peyton came to Tree Hill," she paused, as if bracing herself to bring up something that she didn't really want to mention. "It would have been perfect, but I know you have that ring box that you never let off your person, and I know that it has never been meant for me," she said with regretful eyes.

Shock caused me to freeze. I had no idea she knew about the box. I didn't think anyone knew about it. How had she found it? When had she found it? I knew there would be no lying this one off. I had to come clean about it. She wouldn't believe anything but the truth. She deserved the truth. I reached into my pocket and pulled it out, opening it to look at the ring, and I blew out a sigh. "I was going to give it to Peyton, before she left. I had the night planned and everything, but instead of finding her, I found her note, and that was it," I closed the box with a final snap, looking up at Brooke. "She left. I carry this on me because it was given to me by my uncle before he died. I don't want to lose it," I lied, but I knew she would believe that one.

My mind was still remembering that last day, though. I had been ready to give everything to her. I wanted nothing but her for the rest of my life, for the rest of forever, if she would have given it to me. I wanted her for eternity, vampire or not, I didn't care. She thought I would lose my soul, but I had been ready to talk her into changing me. I was ready to fight for my immortality for as long as it took, but she didn't want the same thing. She had disappeared, leaving me with nothing but words on a paper. I didn't know anymore if those words were lies or truth, but I only wished she had known how ready I had been to give it all up. Maybe it would have changed things. I didn't want to fool myself with that hope though. I couldn't stand thinking about this anymore.

Brooke was still staring at me, as if she was trying to read my emotions on my face. I wasn't sure what she could see. I had become almost as good as Peyton as hiding my emotions. Maybe it was a vampire thing, or maybe it just came with spending so much time wanting to feel nothing at all. She kinked her eyebrows at me, still trying to figure me out, I was sure. "Like I said, Lucas, it would have been perfect, but Peyton did move to Tree Hill, and I know you're still in love with her," she said. I opened my mouth, but she went on. "You don't want to be, because it hurts you, but you are, and I don't think any amount of time will take that away. I can't be second in anyone's heart, especially not to her. I am glad you told me the truth, though. Thank you for that," she leaned up, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

She lingered there for a long moment, with her hand on my neck and her lips touching my cheek, but then she sank back on her heels, removed her hand, and met my gaze. I could see the hurt in her chocolate colored eyes, and I knew she was trying to be strong as she smiled a wistful smile. "I do love you, Lucas, but I know you love her more, and even though it hurts now, I know that someday I will find the one who loves me like you love Peyton. Keep the ring, I think there will be hope for the two of you yet," she sighed, and then turned and walked away. I knew she wanted to keep me from seeing the tears that were in her eyes, so I didn't say a word as she left.

When I went back to the luncheon, Peyton was already gone. I had no idea where she had gone, but I really wanted to talk to her. I had to wait a while, though, because my family only rarely got together like this, and I knew it would disappoint a lot of people if I didn't stay. I didn't really care about disappointing people, but I needed the time while I was making meaningless conversation to figure out what I was going to say to Peyton. It took a long time, but when I finally got to go find her, I started at our clearing. I smelled the cat, and I silently approached, just in time to see them kiss.

(Peyton's POV)

I ran straight for the clearing beneath the Riverwalk, because I didn't know where else to go. I couldn't believe it. He was going to marry Brooke. He had told her the truth, and she had accepted it, and now they were going to get married. Why her? Why not me? I wasn't sure what I would have said if he had proposed to me, back then, but it might have changed things. I had thought I was just a passing fling for him, that he would get over me and move on with his human life. Now he had no human life, and I really was a passing fling, because he had moved on, and he was going to marry someone else. I had been ready to listen to Haley, and finally tell him the truth, but now I never could. I didn't know what he believed, what he thought of me, but he would have to keep believing it.

This hurt in a way I had never imagined before. I had become used to pain in the past two years, but this topped it all. I guessed I had always held out some kind of hope that somehow things would work out for us, but this took away my last bit of hope. There was no reason to hope anymore, no reason to try. I could have called my painkiller, but I wasn't sure Julian could even help this amount of pain, and I really didn't want him to see me like this. A part of me wanted to tear all the trees down, and destroy the place that had once held such happy memories for me, but the other part wanted to keep it forever, save those happy times, because they would be the only happy times I got. I didn't know which side I held favor with.

It was a long time before Julian showed up, but he showed up without me calling him. I wasn't sure how I felt about him being in the clearing with me, but I looked at him, and something inside me clicked. I could have some form of happiness. I wouldn't be whole with him, but at least having this is better than nothing. I did love him in his own way, already, and I felt some of that pain that had been twisting my insides back off, and some of it disappeared. It wasn't completely gone, but it was close enough that I could get by. I knew it was as good as I was going to get. I only hoped I could get him to take me as I was.

There were some answers I needed first. "Why didn't you kiss me when you had the chance the other day?" I asked, tilting my head at him as I approached. I had been looking for an excuse to get him off me at the time, but now I realized he had never been going to. He had wanted to, yes, but he wouldn't have done it, even if Renesmee and Jacob hadn't shown up. It had nothing to do with the fact that he had been in his panther form either, I knew. I had been trying to figure it out, but really I didn't know, and I didn't have access to his thoughts unless he was thinking about it at the moment, which he now was. I waited for him to speak the words though.

Reaching up and running a hand though his hair, he studied me. "I didn't think you would want me to. I know a part of you has feelings for me, Peyton, but you didn't know that. I know you've been using me as a shield from your pain, from Lucas, but I also know there's something here. There's something between us, and I know you think you'll never be able to be happy again, but I want to make you happy, Peyton. I think I could do it, if you would just give me the chance," he said as he continued stepping closer to me.

This was it. I knew this moment was coming, but I hadn't realized how right he would be. A part of me really did love him. I didn't want him around anymore just because he helped ease the pain brought on by the hole Lucas had left in my heart. I wanted him around just for him. I hadn't realized he had known just the extent to how I was using him, but a part of me wanted to explain. "Julian, it's not as simple as that. I may never be whole again. I'll always be like a broken down car. I may be able to be fixed up on the outside, but I'll never be running again," I said sadly, and I knew he was hearing my words, but I didn't know if he was completely understanding the extent of it.

I tried to think of another metaphor, but decided I wasn't even sure I could put it in words. I decided the time was past for words, and now was the time for action. I needed to move on, like Lucas had. I closed the remaining distance between Julian and I and looked up into his eyes as I met his lips. It was definitely nice. I mean, there was no earth-shattering awareness that Lucas brought. Every time I kissed Lucas I knew that we would be together forever. That feeling wasn't there, but I did feel something, and it was something good, which felt so much better than feeling pain all the time.

A rustling in the trees brought me to my senses. I pulled away. "I don't know if I can do this, Julian. I do love you, you're right, but I love Lucas more. I have been using you, but you're wrong too. I need you in all the wrong reasons, and I can't lead you along. I know what I need to be happy, and you need to find the person that you will be able to make happy. You deserve someone whole, who can love you back with everything she has, and that person is just not me. I can't have Lucas, but I can't let you think I can be fixed either. I understand if you don't want to be friends," I took a step back.

His thoughts made me laugh. He had liked kissing me, but the vampire smell hadn't been masked by the pleasure of the kiss. He laughed as he realized I could hear his thoughts, and shoved me lightly. "Hey, you may stink, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. I understand what you're saying, Peyton. I may not agree with all of it, but if you can't do it, you can't do it. It was crazy anyway, thinking a shape-shifter could be with a vampire. We're natural enemies, and nothing short of imprinting will make that completely go away, I guess," he shrugged. I was just glad we had got that out of the way with minimal discomfort, so I couldn't help but agree.

**A/N: **_Tell the truth, who saw that coming? I don't think there will be many more chapters. Probably like the first one, there will be less than twenty, but that's okay, if y'all like it. Tell me what you think! Thanks for all the reviews. I appreciate all of them._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	13. Chapter 13

(Peyton's POV)

The week passed quickly, and I avoided seeing Lucas. I didn't have to put up with Brooke much either, at least, until the night of the rehearsal. The wedding party and the father of the bride had to be there, and I was not looking forward to spending time with both Lucas and Brooke. I would have to walk down the aisle with Lucas. I just hoped I could avoid him as much as possible. I had been spending time with Julian all week, and I just wanted to get out of town as soon as this wedding was over. I would still keep in contact with Haley, but I didn't want to be anywhere near Lucas and Brooke.

The wedding was tomorrow, and as soon as the wedding and reception was over, I would be back on a plane. I wouldn't have to face Lucas, as he told me that he was getting married. I only hoped that they didn't make some big deal out of it, announcing it in front of everyone. I don't want to have to face it in front of Haley. I'd rather have her tell me on the phone, so she wouldn't be able to look at me and tell that I was faking happiness for the couple. I knew that a part of me was glad that Lucas had found happiness, even if it wasn't with me, I still wanted him to be happy, but the other part of me was so broken that I wouldn't be able to handle seeing him.

I honestly believed I could make it through this. It wouldn't be so hard now. I had my speech ready, and it was full of mushy stuff about how I had seen Haley and Nathan together since the beginning, and I had known even then that they were meant to be together. I knew it was a pretty generic speech, but I also knew that Haley would appreciate my words. She was really stressing, trying to make sure everything would be perfect tomorrow, but I knew that once she started walking down that aisle and she would realize just how perfect the day would really be.

For a moment, I imagined that it would be, walking down the aisle toward a certain blond, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, the awe at spending the rest of existence with him, and the joy I knew that he would give me for the rest of my existence. I was able to fool myself with the day dreams for a few moments, before I had to snap out of it, because Julian had stopped the car. He was dropping me off at the church for the rehearsal. He leaned over and spoke in my ear. "Get your head out of the clouds," he whispered, before leaning back, waving at someone outside of the car.

From his thoughts, I knew it was Lucas, but I still looked anyway, because his perfect beauty didn't look quite the same in Julian's thoughts. I also knew that Julian had leaned over just because Lucas could see, and from Lucas's point of view, it had looked like he was kissing me. I decided not to say anything just then, but I would yell at him for it later. Yes, I knew that Lucas would think I was with Julian, but what was the harm in letting him think that, when he was with Brooke anyway?

So I got out of the car, and walked over to Lucas, who tried to play it off like he hadn't been watching us. I felt a complete mix of emotions upon reaching him. I was glad to be in his presence, which killed most of the pain I was feeling just because I was near him, but the pain that was left twisted and mutated into something much worse than it had been, just because he was with Brooke. I forced a smile though, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Are you going in, or are you just going to stand out here the whole time?" I questioned.

Instead of responding, he just stared at me for a moment, and I wished I could know what he was thinking. I couldn't though, so I just stared back, until another car pulled up, and Brooke got out. I didn't stick around, instead heading straight inside before I could hear any of her thoughts, or see them act all lovey-dovey. I felt some of that pain coming back as I walked away from Lucas, and I wished Julian could be here, but he wasn't part of the wedding party, and I knew there wasn't much he could do anyway. Lucas was still with Brooke, and I was still the one with no love to live for.

(Lucas's POV)

When I saw Julian kiss Peyton before she got out of his car, I felt a wave of jealousy, followed by the urge to kill that stupid cat, but I managed to control myself as she got out of his car, and walked over towards me. She asked if I was going to go in, but I couldn't say anything. I kept picturing her kissing Julian, and wishing it was me, and I desperately wanted to kiss her right then, but I was still trying to control myself. I looked into her eyes, and it was almost easy for me to imagine telling her all the things I wanted her to know, and I imagined she would feel the same way, and we could just be happy again, but none of that was possible.

When Brooke pulled up and got out of her car, Peyton immediately disappeared into the church, and I wished I knew what was going on in her mind, but I had never been able to tell what was going on in her mind. She kept her mind firmly guarded, and I could never tell her the truth, because I knew even if I did, she would still keep her guard up, and I would never know what she really wanted. I waited for Brooke, and then walked her into the church, just shaking my head when she questioned the interaction with Peyton she had thought she walked in on.

The rehearsal ran smoothly, and I knew that it would go perfectly tomorrow, too. Haley was stressing, trying to make sure the wedding was going to go right, and Peyton could tell too, because she invited Haley over, so they could have a sort of sleep over, because Haley wasn't planning on spending the night before her wedding with Nathan anyway. She was trying to do things somewhat traditional. So I was lucky enough to spend the night with my brother, playing video games, and just trying to keep him from getting cold feet about his wedding tomorrow.

Of course, there was no doubt that both of them would get nervous, because they were committing to each other for life, even though that didn't hold quite the same connotations for them as it did for me, or Peyton, but it meant something huge to them. They were ready, though, I knew. They were the kind of love that I had always wanted, as a human. They would have hard times, but they would get through it, because they were meant to be. I had based my speech on that, somewhat, and I knew the same sort of speech was given by every best man, but everyone would appreciate my words.

Part of me had wanted to write something that would hold special meaning for me and Peyton, let her know how I felt about her, while keeping everyone else thinking I was talking about Nathan and Haley, but every time I tried to think of the words, I thought of her and Julian together, and I got a horrible twisting pain in my stomach. I was no longer on her mind, I was sure. Now she was with Julian, and I was just a third wheel of sorts, destined to be alone for the rest of this horrifying existence.

(Brooke's POV)

The morning of the wedding, and the women of the wedding party were getting ready at Peyton's house, because that was where Haley had been the night before. We were going to get ready, and then ride in a limo to the church. The guys would be at the church when we got there, but Nathan had strict instructions that he was to be somewhere else when we arrived. Haley didn't want him to see her before she was walking down the aisle, because she didn't want any sort of bad luck to ruin this day for her.

Grabbing her hand, I pulled it away from her mouth. "Haley, I beg you, do not ruin your manicure. You're going to be fine. Everything is going to go fine. You have no reason to stress. You know that you and Nathan are meant to be, and nothing is going to change that. The two of you are going to have kids, and grow old together, and you're going to have everything you've ever wanted. This is the start of all that, so don't be nervous, be happy. You get a happily ever after. Not everyone does," I smiled wistfully.

Smiling, she rubbed my hand, because she knew that Lucas and I had broken up. She glanced over to where Peyton was, and she thought the blonde couldn't hear, but I knew she could. I still didn't stop her from speaking though, I knew that Peyton would know eventually that Lucas and I had broken up, and all she would have to do was go talk to him, and he would take her back, and they would get their happily ever after, for eternity. "Brooke, just because you and Lucas didn't work out, doesn't mean you won't get a happily ever after. You'll find the right guy, Brooke," she assured me.

Wishing I could believe that, I just nodded, trying to appear cheerful. I knew that Lucas was supposed to be my happily ever after. He would have been, if that stupid Peyton had never existed. If the world had been the way it was supposed to be, instead of this crazy, messed up world where vampires exist, then Lucas and I would have had a happily ever after. Perhaps we would have already been married, and maybe starting to have kids. I could have been a mom, and I would have been good at it, a lot better than my own, especially with Lucas at my side as the father.

That would never be, though, because the world was screwed up, and Peyton did exist, for some reason, and now there would never be anyone else for me, because the person I was meant to be with was taken from me by her. I hated her for it, but I would be nice, on Haley's wedding day. I wouldn't start anything, because I knew that Haley was already freaking out. I wouldn't be the cause for her fears to be founded. I didn't look at the blonde again, ignoring her the whole time, and trying to feign happiness for one of my best friends.

We made it to the church without anything going wrong, and Nathan was hidden away like he had been ordered, and before I knew it, I was walking with one of Nathan's groomsmen down the aisle. I knew I was looking good, in the bridesmaids dress that I had picked out because it looked good on me, and I had done my hair in curls. My make-up was flawless, as always. I knew all this, but that still didn't explain to me why one guy in the crowd did not take his eyes off of me. I didn't know who he was, hadn't seen him before, but the way he stared intrigued me.

While the wedding went on, and Haley and Nathan promised themselves to each other forever, I tried to avoid looking into the crowd, but the same guy never once stopped staring at me, and my gaze kept drifting over to him. He was good looking, I had to admit, and he didn't stare at me in a disgusting way, more like he just couldn't stop looking, like he was enraptured. I had never felt this way when someone looked at me before, and I wanted it to stop, but at the same time, I didn't.

When the wedding was over, we all made our way to the wedding reception, and I tried to find the guy amongst the crowd, but I couldn't see him anywhere. The wedding party was sitting at a table in the front, and there were tables spread around where the rest of the guests would sit. I tried to find him amongst the guests making their way to their seats, but I was called over to the table where I was supposed to sit before I could find him.

Almost as soon as I sat down, I saw him sitting at a table on the other side of the room, and I wanted to get up and go over to him, demand some kind of answers, or something, but Haley pulled me back into my seat as I made to stand up. I looked around and saw that everyone else was seated, and the food was going to be served. I watched him while we ate, and he ate too, but he kept his eyes on me as well. I wanted this nonverbal conversation to become a verbal conversation, but I knew it would have to wait until everyone finished eating, and the toasts were made, and then everyone would make their way to the dance floor.

The best man was supposed to make his toast first, but I saw Peyton lean over and talk to Haley, who looked confused, but nodded anyway, and Peyton stood up, holding up her glass so she could make her toast. "Well, we all know that Haley and Nathan have started what I'm sure will be an amazing life today. I know they will have problems, because all couples do, but they are a strong couple, and they have what not all couples have. They share a love that will span lifetimes. Their love will last many lifetimes, because it will live on through their children, and grandchildren, and so on. Even if one of them someday makes a huge, life-altering mistake, they'll make it through it, because they'll talk, and a couple who talks will make it through anything," she paused, moving her gaze away from Lucas for the first time.

Reaching out, she put a hand on Haley's shoulder as she continued. "I've seen this couple grow from the start, and looking at them now, I know they will get through anything. I've never seen a couple more meant to be. I know a lot of people had doubts, because they definitely have a lot of differences, but I've known from the very beginning that we would be standing here one day, and I'm just glad that I could play this small part in it," she finished, leaning down to give Haley, who was now crying, a hug.

It was now Lucas's turn. He stood up, holding out his own glass. "My brother hasn't always been the man he is today. Haley can't be blamed for the change in him, but he definitely would not have changed, if she had not come into his life. From day one, I knew there were differences in my brothers attitude, and his life, and I knew that they were going to make it to this point. Now he's gone through the biggest change of all, and he's done it for the woman he loves, and there is no greater thing in life. That's all anyone can hope for, is to find the person that will make them want to change in the biggest way possible, and I know that my brother has found that in Haley, and I know that they will get through anything, together," he looked away from Peyton to give his brother a hug, and everyone started clapping.

Now it was time for dancing, and I made my way to the dance floor, seeking him out, but I didn't see him, until he was standing right in front of me, seemingly out of nowhere. I held a hand to my chest, as he had startled me, and cut him off as he opened up his mouth. "I've seen you staring at me this whole time, and I want to know why. I don't even know you, and you definitely don't know me, so why have you been staring at me like I'm the love of your life, or something?" I demanded.

Reaching out, he tucked a curl behind my ear, staring into my eyes, and I couldn't help but be wooed by his charming grin. I wanted to be annoyed, but I couldn't anymore. I couldn't be anything but curious as I waited for his answer. "Well, I don't know you either, but I think we should definitely talk. I'm Julian Baker, and I'm going to have to explain some things to you, but I want to take you on a date, but first, let's just dance," he said, offering me his hand.

For some reason, I couldn't say no to him. He had done nothing, but I was enraptured already. He had said nothing more to me than that, but the way he had stared at me earlier, the way he was looking at me now, it was like he never wanted to look at anything else in his life. I felt drawn in by that, and I couldn't have said no to dancing with him if I wanted to. I wouldn't say no to the date either. I knew that Lucas and I had just broken up, but something about this guy, the way he was making me feel, didn't immediately make that go away, but even then I knew it had the potential to.

**A/N: **_Here's another chapter. I know, I know, Lucas and Peyton are kinda stupid about their feelings for each other, but now that Peyton knows Julian's imprinted on Brooke, and Brooke and Lucas aren't together, maybe she'll get smarter and finally tell him the whole truth. Maybe. We'll just have to wait and see, won't we. Let me know what you think, and thanks for all the reviews. I appreciate everyone who reads._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	14. Chapter 14

(Peyton's POV)

The words Haley had told Brooke were still ringing in my head. 'Just because you and Lucas didn't work out.' No words had ever sounded better to me. Brooke and Lucas weren't together. They weren't getting married. That still didn't answer my questions, or tell me that Lucas still loved me, but at least he wasn't getting married to her. I wouldn't have to know that Brooke was going to live an eternity with Lucas, while I didn't get to. I still wasn't sure that I would get to spend an eternity with him, but at least I knew she wouldn't be either, and that made me feel a lot better.

When Julian imprinted on Brooke I instantly heard it in his thoughts. His thoughts reminded me of the way Jacob always thought of Renesmee. His every thought was suddenly about her, and how perfect she was, etc., to the point that it actually started making me sick, and I had to block out his thoughts after about five minutes of listening to him. I was glad that he had found someone that would make him happy, and I was glad for the odds that they would last, because then I knew for certain that Brooke wouldn't change her mind and someday want Lucas back.

It was on impulse that I asked Haley if I could give my speech first, but I thought he did get the message, considering his responding toast. I wanted to go talk to Lucas right after the wedding, but I had promised that I would drive Haley and Nathan to the airport, so that was what I had to do. I knew that Lucas was going to be in town until tomorrow anyway, so I wasn't worried about waiting a little while before I went to talk to him. I knew he would be here all night. I actually hoped I could find him in the clearing, because that would make for the perfect moment. I may not be a romantic, but I am still female, and can appreciate a perfect moment.

Once I had dropped them off, I realized that I wanted to draw, and perhaps I could see the moment, and I would be certain that Lucas and I were meant to be. I hadn't drawn a single thing since I had left Tree Hill the last time, and I could remember the last thing I had drawn. I had been trying to figure out whether or not Lucas would be happy without me in his life. I dug my sketchbook from the back of my car, where I had left it when I had left Tree Hill, and flipped to the last page with anything on it.

The drawing was of Lucas, of course, and he was standing in our clearing, and there was a caption bubble next to him. He was saying, 'I'll never be happy with anyone but you.' I hadn't even finished it completely. It was done in black and white, and I had stopped to get my color pencils, and when I had looked back at it, and seen this, I had instantly stashed it, and I had written the note, trying to think of anything, any lie that would make him hate me enough to stop loving me, and then I had left. Just like that, I assumed that my gift was telling me that he was meant to be with someone else, so I had wanted to leave with as little damage to myself as possible.

It would have been next to impossible for me to tell him in person that I was leaving. I may have been strong, and I may have had practice putting other people first, but had I talked to him in person, he would have convinced me that the best thing for him was to stay. He would have dismissed my drawing, as nothing more than speculation. He would have found some way to convince me to stay, and since I wasn't completely sure it was right to leave in the first place, I knew that it would not have been hard for him to find the right words.

Now, looking at that drawing, I realized that at the time, I had thought I would never be returning to Tree Hill, and that he couldn't possibly mean me, in the drawing. I was here now, though, and that drawing could very easily be something he tells me when I talk to him tonight. I didn't know for sure, but I knew that I wouldn't be doing anything this time around unless I did know for sure. I wouldn't risk both of our happiness on chance this time. I was going to tell him the truth.

Flipping to the next page, I grabbed my pencils from the glove compartment, and began to draw, concentrating on anything but the drawing. I kept going, until I was done, and then looked at the drawing. It was Lucas, once again in the clearing, but this time I was with him. My thought bubble read: 'I love you, Lucas.' I knew this time that it was tonight, and I read his thought bubble, which said a simple, 'Oh.' I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to decide what to do. He said oh, when I told him I love him? Then I guess it's true, I'm not the one who will make him happy, and he doesn't still love me.

So where does that leave me? Should I go talk to him tonight, or not? I wasn't sure what to do anymore, but I knew that I wanted to go to the clearing, and now. I wasn't sure what I was going to find there, or whether anything good would happen, but I did feel the need to go there anyway. I had made the promise to myself that I would go there, and even though I now knew that Lucas didn't love me, that didn't mean I couldn't still go. I just wouldn't tell him I love him, so I wouldn't have to go through the humiliation.

The sun was coming out when I parked my car, just in time for it to go down, I thought with some amusement. I knew that he was in there as soon as I stepped out of my car. I could smell his scent. It had changed, of course, there was now the scent of vampire mingled in, but I could still smell the same scent that I had always been able to smell, just minus the overwhelming urge to taste his blood. I wanted to taste him still, but now it wasn't in such an unpleasant way. I wondered what he thought in the difference in my scent. He could smell so much better now, see so much better.

Getting out of the car, I walked through the trees standing in the clearing, so the sun would hit my skin. I saw his gaze snap to me, and I knew he was taking in what I looked like with the sun, but my attention was fully on him. He wasn't wearing any contacts, so I could see the topaz in his eyes, and the sun was bouncing off his granite skin, flinging off rainbows of light. His features which had always attracted me were now so perfect and I just wanted to kiss him, and run my fingers through his hair, wrap my arms around him tight enough that he'd never be able to make me let go, like I'd always wanted to do, but had never been able to do before.

I couldn't hear his thoughts, but I thought he might be just as amazed by me as I was by him. I stepped closer, and I wanted to close the distance completely, but I stopped just a few feet away. I thought over his toast again, replaying his words in my mind. He had talked about change, and he had definitely made a huge change, the biggest he could make, but did that mean he loved me? He didn't exactly choose this. "Do you regret it?" I asked suddenly, breaking the silence, and getting his gaze to snap up to my eyes. I knew I had to clarify. "Becoming a… like me," I had wanted to say vampire, but my throat had gotten stuck on the word.

He smiled for a moment, but then it slipped away, and he looked down. "There were many months after it happened where I wished that Bella hadn't changed me, that she had just left me there to die. I didn't want to live forever, because I had lost the one person that I wanted to spend eternity with. I regretted it, yes. I regretted a lot of things," he paused before finishing. "There's just no point to living forever, if I don't have anything to live for. My family will be dead in a matter of decades, and I'll be stuck here, with nothing," he finished, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck.

The implications in his words were obvious, but I wasn't sure if I was reading them right or not. I didn't know what to say to that, because I wasn't sure I was interpreting it right, so I just stood there for a minute, staring at him. I bit my lip, but there were more things on my mind, questions that I still needed the answers to. "Lucas, I saw the ring. I saw you show it to Brooke. I thought you were getting married. You could have changed her, could have lived with her forever," I said.

My words weren't a question, but I knew that he would know what I was asking. He swallowed hard for a moment, closing his eyes, before he opened them and looked at me. He pulled out the box again, and held it in his hand. "Peyton, I have been carrying this ring on me for two years. It never had anything to do with Brooke. She just found it and I had to tell her the truth about it, which is why she broke up with me. I love her, but my heart belongs to the forever I lost, and she doesn't want to be second place in anyone's heart," he explained.

Shock froze every one of my muscles as I tried to think this through. He had never wanted to marry Brooke. He had been carrying it, probably since I had left Tree Hill. Brooke broke up with him because his heart would never be Brooke's. Brooke was second place in his heart. Was I first place? "Wait, wait, were you planning on," I gestured to the ring, unable to form the words in case they were wrong, "even when I was still in Tree Hill? Did you really truly want forever with me back then? Did you even realize what a forever with me would mean?" I managed to ask, although even I'm not sure why those choice of words came out.

Shuffling his feet, Lucas didn't appear to want to answer, but he did anyway. "Yes, Peyton, I was planning on proposing to you, the night you disappeared. I went over to your house, so I could propose, and all I found was your note. I did want forever with you, and I knew exactly what that meant. I was ready to be a vampire, I was ready to convince you to change me, so we could have the rest of existence together. I knew that I loved you, and I didn't care that you thought vampires don't have souls. I was willing to give up my soul, if it meant I got to be with you," he said, still holding onto the ring box.

Upon hearing his words, I felt every ounce of pain begin to disappear. I was standing here with him, in the place that had held so many happy memories for us, and I knew that I loved him and that, at least back then, he would have spent forever with me. "Listen, Peyton, I know you think you're a monster, and you're no good for me, but I honestly don't believe that. You're the best person I know, the best person I will ever know, whether you can see that or not. I'll never be happy with anyone but you, Peyton. You're the only one who could make this endless existence worth living for," he said.

There were those words. The ones from the drawing. If that had come true, though, would the other one come true as well. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that I wanted to be with him forever, but I just couldn't bring myself to. I didn't want to hear what I knew he would say. 'Oh.' I couldn't gather up the courage to tell him the truth anyway. I couldn't even bring myself to move. I felt whole now, but I knew it wouldn't last. It couldn't last, not if he wouldn't even be able to say he loved me back.

As the silence between us lingered on, I wanted to break it, but I still couldn't. He eventually did. "I was going to say all that, and possibly more, whatever it would take to get you to agree to marrying me, to changing me, to spending forever with me," he paused, and I felt my heart sink, because I was sure he didn't feel that way anymore, hence the 'Oh.' "I still don't get it, Peyton. I don't understand why you left. I don't understand why you came back. I don't understand why you apologized, when you've clearly moved on with Julian," he ran a hand through his hair.

So he did believe that I was with Julian. Was that what had broken his love for me? Was that the thing that had finally caused him to move on? It wasn't the note, but it was thinking that I moved on that had convinced him he hated me enough to move on himself. I wished that I hadn't let him think Julian and I were together now. "You lied to me, Peyton, in that note. You said you would never affect anyone else's life the way you had affected mine," he broke off, laughing bitterly. "I guess there were so many lies, that I shouldn't be surprised by the last one," he added.

That broke my non-beating heart all over again. He actually believed the lie, over all the truth that I had told him. I thought he knew I loved him. I thought there was nothing I could do that would make him question that, but obviously I was wrong. "How could you possibly believe that? How could you believe that everything I ever told you up to the point I wrote the note was a lie? I mean, I wrote it, hoping you would, but I never ever believed it would work. You believed the one lie over a year of truths," I wanted him to believe the right things. I needed him to know how I had really felt.

He had started pacing, but he stopped and looked at me, as if he was scared to believe any of this. "You mean, you really did love me?" he asked, and I nodded. "You really were just scared that I would lose my soul, and you thought you were doing what was best for me?" I nodded again. "You really did want to spend forever with me?" I wanted to roll my eyes, because that had been exactly what I had just said, but I just nodded once more. "Then why are you with Julian now?"

That question threw me. I had been about to nod again, but then his words registered in my mind, and I could do nothing but tell the truth. "I'm not with Julian, Lucas. He imprinted on Brooke, today. She doesn't know what that means, but she already likes him. I'm glad that he found someone to make him happy, because I wouldn't have been able to. Ever since I left, I've been this empty shell of who I used to be, and I wouldn't have been able to be with anyone. That was one thing that was true in the note. I will never be able to be with anyone else," I was barely able to stop myself from telling him that I would never be able to be with anyone but him.

Even though I knew he had loved me like that, I knew he didn't anymore, so there would be no way I would tell him that I still did. I would just have to live with the fact that I had ruined the one chance at happiness I would ever get. "It doesn't change anything, though, Lucas, whether I'm with Julian or not. We still feel the same way, or at least we should. I'm sorry, that I never gave you the chance to propose. I really wish I had," I turned and started to walk away.

(Lucas's POV)

When she told me the note was a lie, I really thought that we would get back together. I thought that everything would be alright again, and I almost felt whole again, the way I had been before she left, as if there had never been any pain at all. Then she went on to tell me that it didn't change anything. I couldn't understand that. I thought it changed everything. "Would that have changed anything, if I had gotten the chance to propose?" I couldn't help but as she tried to walk away from me yet again.

My words caused her to stop in her tracks, but she didn't turn towards me again. "Twilight, you know, is the best time for our kind. When the sun disappears from the sky," she turned and looked at me, giving me a sad smile. "You were the best time of my life, but the sun always has to set," she turned away from me again before she answered my question. "Yes, Lucas, I think it would have changed everything, but I guess we won't know now," she whispered, before she walked away.

Before she could get anywhere, I spoke. I just couldn't allow her to walk away again. She had left my life once, and I already knew my life was no good without her. There had to be something I could do to make her stay. "Wait, Peyton, please," I pleaded. She stopped, but didn't turn to face me. "There has to be something I can do, some way I can make you fall in love with me again. You say you loved me once, can't you please give me another shot, and maybe you can love me the way you once did. I still love you, Peyton. That has to mean something. Just give me another chance," I begged.

I watched her spine stiffen as I spoke, and I knew she was frozen there. She always froze when she was surprised, and thinking something over. I still knew all these things about her. I knew that meant something. It had to. She slowly turned and faced me, but I could read nothing on her face. I was sure she was going to tell me that she could never love me again. She opened bit her lip, then opened her mouth slowly. "You still love me?" I nodded, but couldn't form an words. "You don't need another chance to make me fall in love with you," she paused to swallow audibly and I felt my heart breaking all over again. "I never stopped loving you, idiot. When I say the letter was a lie, I meant it. I love you, Lucas," she broke off.

Standing there, staring at her, I felt dazed for a minute as I let this sink in. She still loved me? She never stopped? I could say nothing but, "Oh," as this information tried to sink into my brain. She sighed and rolled her eyes, and I was finally able to move. I stepped forward, sweeping her into my arms, and squeezing her tightly in a way I had never been able to before, before finally landing my lips on hers. It was a sensation unlike any I had ever felt before. Yes I had kissed Brooke since turning into a vampire, but with Brooke I had to hold back, and Brooke wasn't Peyton. Brooke wasn't my other half.

When I realized that neither of needed air, and we could literally stand here forever kissing, I thought it might be best if I broke away, so I could say what I knew I needed to say now. I stepped back slightly, placing my hands on her shoulders, so I could keep her at a distance and keep myself from attacking her again, but then I realized her legs were wrapped around my waist and she wasn't letting go. "Peyton, I love you, more than anything in this world, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity with you. Will you marry me?" I asked. I was going to get the ring, but I didn't have access to my pocket at that moment.

(Peyton's POV)

The words shocked me, they truly did, even though they shouldn't have. I gripped his shoulders and lowered my feet to the ground as I looked up in his eyes, studying him. I couldn't believe that after all this time, he was honestly asking, and we were honestly going to be together. I wasn't shocked into silence long though. This felt too right for me to stay silent long. "Of course, Lucas Scott. I will marry you. Right now, if you so chose. You are the only thing I want, for the rest of my existence," I paused to kiss him again, losing myself in the feeling once more. It felt amazing, to not have to be gentle with him. In fact, if either of us were in danger of getting hurt it was me, and for once, I liked that

When I forced myself to pull away again, I took his hand and placed it on my chest above my nonbearing heart. "Ever since I left, I've felt nothing but pain. Pain that threatened every day, every instant to just drag me under. Writing that letter was the hardest thing I've ever done, or will ever do," I paused a moment and knew just talking about my pain was hurting him. "Now, all of that pain is not only gone, I feel whole again, like it never happened at all. I'm going to love you forever Lucas Scott, and I wouldn't have it any other way," I finished. I looked into his eyes, and for once I didn't feel the need to read his thoughts. I could see it written in his eyes that he felt exactly the same way.

**A/N: **_Yay, yay yay, Lucas and Peyton are finally together. Now, I thought this fic would be a lot longer than just 14 chapters, but this is where I'm going to end it, because I don't really have enough ideas, or reviews to continue. I hoped you all liked it, and it didn't disappoint those who read the first part. Please, let me know what you thought! I appreciate everyone who did review._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


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